Do…

….make sure your office environment works for you

PAs were traditionally thought of as the office version of handmaidens to the Lord. Well, that was then, this is now. Never mind about the desk being near to the door so you and your boss can communicate better, have eye contact, and all that malarkey. I mean, how important is it that they want two sugars, anyway? No, the important thing for you is to be near the window so that you can check your make up in natural light. For those of us getting on a bit, it’s also handy when buying a new mobile at lunchtime and then having to read the instructions printed in 0.6 size type. And it’s essential for those long, dull afternoons when you have work to do but can’t be bothered. Its sooooo boring pretending to make lots of essential phone calls. Much more interesting looking at that bloke over the road who is decorating his bathroom in his underpants. Or for those of you in more rural areas, someone who has just slipped in a cow pat.

…get your work/life balance right

You should be living in fear and trepidation that your headstone will say either “She loved to clean” or “She lived for the office”. The useful tip to remember with work/life balance is that it needs to be 90% life and 10% work. Work is not part of life. It is the unfortunate but necessary underpinning of life in which we have to participate in order to buy things and take holidays. Any management guru who tells you differently is a charlatan, and anyone who says “Ooooh, but I love what I do so much it doesn’t feel like work” needs to get out more.

…keep your skills up to date

Internet surfing and texting are not skills that were taught to me while at college learning how to be a PA, but it is indisputable that they are essential in modern life. We all know that some of us are born with the necessary skills to just leap right in to these areas, but for the rest of us, it needs several hours practice every day. Sad but true. It may look as though my priorities should be the huge pile of filing, messages on the voicemail, and documents to photocopy but I know that surfing the net and texting friends to find the right website to buy a new swimming costume will pay dividends in the long-run. Not least when I next go swimming.

Don’t…..

….carry over holiday

What are you thinking?! Trade unionists fought long and hard to get time off with pay and there you are ruining it all. Look on it in the same way as your boss regards the departmental budget – it all has to be used up or they might take it away next year. Admittedly, it means you’ll have to pay for your personal phone calls and internet time while you’re away from the office, which is a shame, but you can always steal some extra stationery to make up for it. Batteries intended for the Dictaphone are a good haul because you can use them in your camera, or any other gadgets you may want to use in your personal time.

…skip lunch

You are entitled to 30 minutes by law, which is stingy but a start. Sign up for the Slow Food campaign and take a leaf out of their book. Food is there to be savoured and digested properly, not rammed in at the fastest possible speed. If there was any humanity in the working world, we’d have two hours for lunch followed by a nap. In fact, I do and I am all the better for it. I find that my reaction speeds are much improves on my internet surfing in the afternoon.

…ever operate a ‘clean desk’ policy

I know that desk-tops have more germs on them than toilet bowls but don’t get conned into having a clear desk so the cleaner can polish it. All you need to remember is that toilet bowls have fewer germs in them than most people imagine, and that as long as you don’t put your lunch directly on your desk top, you’ll be fine. Think about it: when was the last outbreak of cholera in your office? A clean desk policy just makes you look underemployed and transmits the message that you’re dispensable. You need as much paper, Post-Its, files, envelopes, in-trays, pending-trays and pen pots as you can muster. You know they’re props but the rest of the office thinks you are constantly slogging away. Remember to surreptitiously throw away large chunks of this detritus every so often and to walk around with a satisfied smile on your office, saying “Phew! I’m so pleased the simulation project is finished”.

As we all know, success in your career has virtually nothing to do with the amount or quality of the work you produce, but what people think of you and whether you look the part. I think you’ll find that dedication to these principles of professionalism will leave you with an enhanced reputation, less wrinkles, and a well-cut swimming costume.