how can I get my mojo back?

[dettu]

Since I started this new position I have been feeling at loose ends. The two bossies are very different, as I've said, and with the one who's my actual supervisor I have yet to develop a rapport or any trust (on either side) although I am really trying hard. For that bossie, I've been given very little substantive work, so it's hard to assess whether I'm valuable at all. I'm not sure why, but it seems to be unnerving me and I'm doing little things that make me look incompetent--replying to all on an email that should have gone to one person, making a mistake in a merge document, etc. Little things but it seems I can't get through two straight days without some small screw-up.

This is SO not like me! I'm normally quite competent and quite confident. It's as though being doubted has just interrupted my normal, rational though processes and made me into a nervous idiot.

Does this ever happen to any of you? What do you do to get your mojo back?

[gee4]

Dettu, this was me in my last job the one I got made redundant from.

My 2 directors were both very different also - one wanting more but never giving me exact direction, the other being very aloof and not requiring me.

It IS and I agree, unnerving and I felt like I was being watched and constantly monitored.  The director who needed me constantly nitpicked, never praised me and I got nothing positive from him.  The other was wet, didn't need me and never included me in hardly anything.

In the end as you know the first director and I had words and ended up disliking each other.

I am not sure what to suggest here but I do sympathise.  I guess knowing what I have told you about my situation, you have to figure out -

a) are you going to stay in this job?
b) what can you do to make it better and resolve any issues?
c) are you happy?
d) do you want to move on?

It is frustrating I know and whether or not I wanted out by applying for other jobs, or whether I got made redundant, in the end I'm out of there and embarking on a new career path if I can.  

I tried in that job for nearly 2 years and at times felt it would never get better.  Some days were good, others were bad.  If bosses gave us clear direction and praised us once in a while, we wouldn't have these situations arising.

Can you talk to a mentor?  HR?  I too was normally confident and competent but I believe it came down to jealousy.  I had skills they didn't want me to have for fear of being shown up.  I was good at what I did, but was undermined and belittled.

Don't let this go on Dettu, we shouldn't be made to feel like this at our age.  I questioned my bosses attitude to me on several occasions, gave him every opportunity to come clean about me or my work, but he never did.  I think perhaps looking back, the problem was mainly his, whatever it was.

Take some time out to think about things and write it down if it helps - I did.

[dettu]

Thanks, Gee. I have spoken with bossie's boss's assistant, my mentor and a couple of others and all have assured me that it is bossie's issue, not mine. The OTHER bossie is very good and involves and trusts me to a high degree, and overall I like the organization so I have no intention of leaving.

Bossie is just very much not like me, I guess, and I have to just keep on doing what I'm doing, so says everyone here. But I'd like to not be nervous and incompetent while I do that!

[peaches2160]

I feel your pain.

Shake it off when you make a mistake, and don't dwell on it.  Fix it, learn from it, and laugh it off, and move on.  If you dwell on it it will hold you back and may cause you to keep repeating the same errors.

Positive self talk always helps.  Tape a little positive saying on your mirror and repeat it to yourself every day.  

I believe It takes a good 6 months to develop a relationship and begin working completely in sync with your executive.  not sure how long you have been in this role.  it is also a 2-way street, the other half of the team needs to work with you.  

do you have weekly one on one meetings with you bosses to stay on track?  It helps.

[gee4]

Peaches,  while you have made some very good points, I tried to initiate one to one meetings with my bosses but they didn't want them, require them or obviously feel the need for them.

It is frustrating as a professional PA who is trying to be pro-active, to be dismissed, shot down and undermined.

Dettu good luck with how you take this forward.

[dettu]

I think Gee and I both have had bad luck in this area, but there was a time when I had good, responsive bosses (that I didn't report to directly but from whom I learned much).

I do have weekly one-on-one meetings with each of my bossies, and I have asked some other assistants to sit in for a couple of these. It's true I've been here only three months and the first month is ALL training, no work at all, so perhaps I'm just getting ahead of myself.