Marriage

[sgilmor]

Subject : FW: Marriage!

Thought this was great hope you enjoy
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Marriage (Part (I)





Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the
wedding,



he laid down the following rules:


"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't

expect any hassle from you.

I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't
be
home for dinner.

I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want
with
my old buddies and
don't you give me a hard time about it.

Those are my rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that
there
will be sex here at seven o'clock every night .....whether you're here
or
not."

(DAMN SHE'S GOOD!)


*******************************************************
Marriage (Part (II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding
anniversary!
The husband yells,
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?"
she replies,
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
"Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"


(HE ASKED FOR IT!)


*******************************************************

Marriage (Part (III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed
either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was
nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her, She comes to the phone after many rings
the irritated husband says,
"what took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says,
"I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)


************************************************************************
****************

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so
proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six"
inspite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man
decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife
is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice
"Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right
back
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

************************************************



Marriage (Part V)

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
each
other the silent treatment.Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he
would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for an early morning business

flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on
a
piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 am"
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and
he
had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife

hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The
paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."


Men are NOT equipped for these kinds of contests.


God may have created man before woman,
but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.



SEND THIS TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN
HANDLE
IT.

It made me laugh!