Vent - AAARRRGGGGHHHHH

[ControlledChaos]

Okay - today has been a bit of a nightmare to say the least and then just when I thought things could not get any worse they did.

A little bit of history on the day - I had arranged for an afternoon conference with some visitors from USA with our Senior Managers offsite.  The US party would be travelling up from London (using our very antiquated rail service), I had arranged transport to collect them and lunch on arrival.  They would be arriving about 11.30am for a 12.00pm start.  I had arranged to meet them at the station and show them to their transport.  

They ring me to say that their train is running about 30 minutes late and so I re-schedule transport accordingly.  New (male) bossie phones to say his train is late and then proceeds to tell me exactly what I should do, i.e. phone the venue, re-arrange transport etc.  I smile sweetly into the phone while seething on the inside, I don't tell him how to do his job, so why should he tell me - after all I've only been doing this type job for 15 years!!!!!!!

The problem is New Bossie has never had a secretary.  When he started No.1 Bossie and I sat him down and explained exactly what I did for her and that I would be doing the same for him.  All he needed to do was give me a brief and I would do the rest.  This is not the first time this has happened.  How can I tell him, politely, that he does not need to spell everything out for me, that I have a brain and common-sense and I know how to use them!

I'm feeling slightly calmer now but I know this incident will not be the last and I am unsure how to broach the subject with him.  I have tried several times explaining what he needs to give me in order for me to do my job but I feel as though I am not getting through.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Val

[countrigal]

In this situation, if he calls in to say he's running late, step into the conversation and say "That's fine sir, I'll reschedule..." etc, that way you step in and tell him what he was going to tell you, which will start teaching him to trust you.  The key here is that he's never had a secretary, so he's used to having to worry and do and instruct on all areas.  Think of this as a training mission -- you have to re-train him and the hardest part will be getting him to let go of that area of control.  I had a boss that was like that, and we had a good working relationship so I'd go into his office at various times and say "You know, I can handle that without all the details" or "That's my job, why don't you let me worry about it", all very nicely.  After a couple of conversations, we developed a code word, which I could use in front of others or wherever, which would remind him that I could handle it.  (It was a simple "Yes Sir", which let him know I had enough information and would handle the rest of it.)

Overall, remember that this is (probably) not meant as a slight to you or your skills, but more to his lack of experience working with such a competent professional.  He's probably had years and years to learn this behavior and it will take some time for him to unlearn it, if he ever does.  But open communication with him (non-judgemental on your part) will be a key in helping meet a compromise that works for you both.

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

[bethalize]

How about phrases such as "I'm way ahead of you there", "Already on it" and "You're absolutely right: I've done that already".You could even try: "You don't need to worry about that, I have it all under control".

I agree that new bosses need to be trained, but you have to remember that you're still an unknown quantity to him (despite your 15 years of experience).

He does sound quite insecure. If he's going to be a micromanager, perhaps you should start overloading him with information.

If he doesn't get the message, you could try: "Please, you don't need to tell me all these things. I have them all under control and you probably have lots of other things to worry about".

Or would that be pushing it?


Bethalize
Peer Moderator

[elkiedee]

At the time it happens, I'd go for the jump in before he tells you option but say "Shall I..." "I think I should call x.... what do you think?" I know what he says seems insulting but he's got to get used to you, so give it a try,

Perhaps you could ask him to go through a list with you of things you can/would like to take on doing and establish how you would keep him informed that you have everything under control, or if there are any problems.

Even if someone has had a secretary before, each person who has a secretary and each secretary are different people, with preferences etc about how things are done.

Luci

[cocookie]

Wanna talk about micromanagement?  How about a bossie who pulls you aside twice to tell you exactly how to tilt the venetian blinds???  Things are much better now, but for a while I had my doubts!