Insurance Claims

[chare]

These Insurance Claims notes were collected by Norwich Union for their
annual Christmas magazine.


> "I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I
> thought."
>
> --------------------
> "I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I
> realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a
> blanket."
> --------------------
> Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
>
> A: Traveled by bus?
> --------------------
> This Norwich Union customer collided with a cow. The questions and
> answers on the claim form were:
> Q - What warning was given by you?
> A - Horn
> Q - What warning was given by the other party?
> A - Moo
> --------------------
> "I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an
> elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose
> concentration and hit a bollard."
> --------------------
> "On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."
> --------------------
> "I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion
> reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."
> --------------------
> "I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
> --------------------
> "I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have
> asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."
> --------------------
> Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a
> hazardous nature?
> A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.
> --------------------
> "First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis
> ran into the rear of second car."
> --------------------
> "Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."
> --------------------
> "The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him
> again"
> --------------------
> "I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law
> and headed over the embankment."
> --------------------
> "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its
> intention."
> --------------------
> "I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"
> --------------------
> "A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
> --------------------
> "A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"
> --------------------
> "In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
> --------------------
> "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I
> reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I
> did not see the other car."
> --------------------
> "I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my
> universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."
> --------------------
> "To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck the
> pedestrian."
> --------------------
> "My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."
> --------------------
> "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
> --------------------
> "I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in
> a ditch by some stray cows."

[holly]

Thank you for these .... they have certainly brightened my Monday!!

[superninjaadmin]

**giggle**

SNA

[raindance]

Heehee.  A friend is about to take her driving test on Friday this week.  I think I shall save these until after the test.  

Raindance

[Katie G]

*horn*
*moo*
Still can't stop laughing about that one!