Whoa there Boss!

Well, this time of year seems to be taking it's toll... Boss get's very difficult this time of year - does anyone else have a 'seasonal' boss?  Mine is using me as a whipping girl this week... I want to blame it on the clocks changing!  That said, my life was a misery this time last year and only really recovered in August.

For example, Boss thinks it's ok to blame me for government legislation (!), and to basically have a really strong 'attitude'.  Looking at it objectively it is quite funny, but it's hard to laugh when you're on the receiving end.

So, what do you think - do I get out of the kitchen because I can't take the heat, or politely mention it to Boss (!)

Guess I'm feeling hard done by today!   

[gee4]

Oh dear!  I have to say my boss is so easy going it's me who probably gets more riled.

Say nothing, it's part and parcel of your job.  They have to sound off to someone.  However if you are being stretched it might be a good idea to let him know you can only do one thing at at time....when the pressure is on, mistakes are made!

Hi Gee

Yes, thanks - I hear what you're saying!  I could understand if it were part and parcel of my job, but it really, really isn't.  I can cope absolutely fine with the stressful workload, late hours and pressures etc.  I also understand that they need to sound off TO somebody (and this is fine with me, I know where I stand in that situation)... it's being sounded off AT that I'm having problems with at the moment.  It's hard to explain, but Boss has a new habit of leaning forward on a table eyeballing you and making random things 'your problem'.  Same thing happened this time last year and lasted months - I guess I just don't relish going through it again.

New found personality clash maybe? (I have been in post with this boss for several years now).

Chin up and keeping one eye on the employment agency it is then... because hiding under the desk is just childish!   

[officepa]

Should anyone be on the receiving end of such an attitude/behaviour from anyone, let alone someone at 'boss' level?

I wouldn't class this behaviour as being part and parcel of one's job - or have I misunderstoon what Dippa is saying she is having to put up with?

[gee4]

Dippa,
If it's that bad you need to have a word with him or HR or someone.  I thought you meant he just ranted as most people do on a daily basis. 

Personally I feel I am respected more for ranting back.  Try it - people respect you more if you have backbone.

Next time he rants, ask him what he means.

Cathy,
If no one witnesses the ranting, how can you prove you are having a hard time??

[Cathy S]

I think you have to have several strings to your strategy here Dippa - but first please think about these ... how much do you enjoy your role apart from this issue? How easy would it be to find an equivalent job (either at this time of year or in the current financial climate).

Firstly - there are items (eg blaming you for Govt legislation) which are totally absurd.  These you need to politely but firmly return to your boss.  If you feel confident enough you could use a little humour "Oh Boss, that is so flattering that you think I have that much influence ... I wish it worked when I am arranging those 20 person meetings that take up so much time" (or any activity you do for Boss that is time consuming and complicated)

Very often a boss may not realise that something they are saying is taken so seriously and it is only by flagging it that you can find out if this is the case.

Secondly - unless you cannot stand it any more - take your time and start looking at skills and refreshing your CV quietly in the background.

Thirdly keep records of the events that cause you a problem.

2 and 3 give you something to take to HR is you need to, whilst 2 is also helping you prepare if you feel you have to move on.

Cathy

[officepa]

Gee in response to your question about not having witnesses, in my experience, most types of unacceptable bahaviour goes on when there is nobody around  but this should not stop you diarising when things happen so if you do decide to take things to HR, you have a detailed log of events.

But before you go down this road, I believe it is a good idea to speak to the person concerned as they may not realise the effect their behaviour is having on you.

Hoping things are improving for you Dippa.

[gee4]

Cathy,

I did that in my previous job with my bullying boss.  He was oblivious anything was untoward yet I was a physical nervous wreck.  It's your word against theirs..you know how things can be twisted for their benefit and how is anyone going to believe a manager or director unless there are witnesses.

That's when things for me finally turned, my boss slipped up and others witnessed what before had gone unnoticed.

I love this board!

I'm so lucky to be able to ask these questions and get really helpful answers - thanks to you all!

I've been taking all of the advice: new CV, diary of events/comments (several pages already - a real eye opener and a little scary, if not validating) etc.

If nothing else, I feel like I am starting to get a bit more of a grip on the situation... perhaps half the battle is having the right tools at my disposal.

[gee4]

Dippa, I'm glad we could be of help.

[officepa]

Gee - I guess you just have to hope the company you work for has honesty and integrity at its core when you take such matters to them and that they don't twist things to suit them.

[gee4]

Well I've learnt from experience that some individuals are so insecure, they will do anything to make someone's life a misery.

It was clear that I was not the only one treated with such disdain in my previous job, others experienced it too from the same individual.

[officepa]

Gee, experience has taught me that what you experienced is not unusual - not right - but not unusual. I have seen it happen many times.

You just have to learn how to deal with it the best way you can that suits your situation.

In an ideal world it would be different.