Boss didn't show up as arranged

[chattycathy]

Last Friday my boss was finishing work and going on holiday for three weeks and we arranged to meet before he left.  I told him I had to leave the office at 4.30 pm as I had a prior arrangement and he told me he would be back to see me later.  Guess what, I waited and waited  til 4.40 pm and he didn't show.   I had loads of messages to pass on and ended up typing them in large font and leaving them on his desk.  Am I unreasonable in thinking he should have either sent me  a text or phoned me to say that he wasn't able to meet with me.  I was totally frustrated and disappointed.  He didn't even acknowledge the note I left and I was left worrying all weekend about whether he had dealt with important matters. Would it be appropriate for me to tell him I was disappointed or am I being totally unreasonable? 

[msmarieh]

If it were me, I wouldn't say that I was disappointed.

I would however, send him a text message asking him to confirm that he received and handled the messages I left for him.

Things come up. It happens. There's no reason to take it personally, even though it was inconvenient. If he does this all the time, I would have a word with him. If this was a rare occurrence, I would disregard it.

[gee4]

Let's face it, boss or no boss, he probably forgot or was delayed.  However, I would not say you were disappointed - that sounds like you're telling him off.  You could have politely added to the note that you waited but couldn't delay due to a prior engagement.

I just wonder why you felt you had to type the details in large font and why you expected him to acknowledge the note?  If he was going on holiday for 3 weeks, he probably had no intention of actioning anything at 4.40pm. Did he have your contact details to confirm he received your note?  Did you specify that you wanted him to confrim he had received your note?  I'm sure he had other things on his mind.

[chattycathy]

I guess my reaction was unreasonable. My boss is a cancer surgeon and I had patients with problems wanting advice and a GP had contacted me as a patient had post surgical complications . Because he had said he would come back before I left I told the patients and the GP that I would speak to him and ask him to contact them back and hence that's why I was concerned when he didn't come back to the office.   Thanks for your advice. I should have text him to check he had dealt with the queries.   

[gee4]

Mmm difficult one this.  Firstly because you didn't provide all the info (in your initial posting) and secondly because you had already committed your boss to returning calls when you hadn't actually spoken to him.

On this occasion I would have pointed out that he was due to leave for a 3 week holiday and that he may not be returning to the office that afternoon.  By doing so you wouldn't haven't committed yourself or your boss to returning calls or actioning requests.

There is always a chance individuals get delayed and do not manage to return to the office even though they have said they will.  However I reckon your boss was going to contact you but guessed you had already left for the day.  If you had left a voice message perhaps he would have picked up your requests rather than leaving a note on his desk.  But as I said, the last thing on his mind was actioning any requests when he was about to go on leave for 3 weeks.

[msmarieh]

Unreasonable is a stronger word than I would use, but it was perhaps a bit personalized. It's hard not to feel disrespected in that situation, so I do understand your feelings.

But in this situation in particular, the old QTIP adage shines brightly - Quit Taking It Personally!

It's no big deal. You could always contact the people you had left messages for and say, I'm just following up to see if bossie was able to contact you. He wasn't able to get back to the office before going on leave. If he didn't, I'd like to refer you to: xyz...

[peaches2160]

I have had this happen on a few occassions, my boss is notorious for running late.  However, he is usually 99% of the time, where he says he will be or where the schedule dictates, unless something has happened.  We have 1 on 1 weekly meetings that he has moved a few times.  When it happens we can not meet, I will summarize the priority messages and actions needed to discuss and provide my recommendations.  He always replies and it is communicated.  Depending on the situation, if he said he would be there, and he wasn't, and it was on his schedule, I would have been worried something happened and most likely would have called his cell ph. or sent an IM to confirm the meeting.  Any urgent matters, I would have communicated verbally.  Those items of less priority, I would have communicated via e-mail so he was aware.

[Atlanta Z3]

True story from my mother on this topic.  It was early years in their marriage before kids.  Mom was waiting for dad to get home from work, to go to a play.  Dad didn't show up or call (this was way before cell phones early 50's) and Mom was furious.  She didn't speak to Dad for three days because he didn't get home until after midnight.  At that time dad worked in the kitchen of a Veteran's hospital.  A patient had died and someone had to stay until the funeral home could pick up the body.  Dad got volunteered.  When mom finally found out what happened she had to eat a lot of crow.  (Now that fact that my Dad hates plays musicals etc. has nothing to do with the story!)
Unless you know the reason for someone not showing up, don't bite their heads off - wait until you know it was just good old bad manners. 
However with cell phones etc, I think a phone cal would have been nice.  I would have left on time, sending an email with notes on items that need follow up.