Loosen Up

[P]

Hi folks - question on a review.
I was given a mark lower than expected on customer service.  Basically my boss told me to lighten up and try not to be so professional.  I was floored, horrified and still in a bit of shock.  I've been an admin for over 20 years and had my stints of receiptionist duty.  My boss and I are in the same age group so it isn't a generation situation.  I do work in a corporate office and have the gate keeper attitude, but I can't think of a single instance where I have been rude, possibly shorter than necessary when busy.  I asked another admin in the office for her opinion and we are both a bit stumped.
So the question is how can a seasoned (read in a rut professional) admin change her stripes and lighten up?  What could be some conversations that are more familiar that are not personal that could be had with internal managers or directors?
Help I'm really struggling with this!

[rose.winter1980]

Ah, that little word "professional".  It's such a minefield and means all sorts of things to all sorts of people.  Forget it.

The purpose of a phone call, or any other communication tool, is to communicate information in a courteous and efficient, but not bossy, manner.  Beyond that, the most important thing in a phone call is tone of voice.  Bearing in mind that most of our communication with each other is visual (body language) and not auditory, the telephone presents a problem.  Unless you can actually SEE the other party, then you have to rely solely on the tone of voice, since our brains will process the exchange of words and will understand them in the context of the tone in which they are spoken.  

Beyond that, I would go back to your manager and ask him to explain in detail with examples because his remark seems way too woolly to be taken seriously, but take it seriously you must.

Winter Rose

Laugh long, sing loud and dance when you get the chance

[msmarieh]

It's not necessarily that you have actually been rude. However, sometimes in the process of being professional we can come across as being rather cold to other people. We end up being "standoffish" which can make other people feel patronized or inferior. I'm certainly not implying you are doing this deliberately, of course.

It may simply be that your boss wants you to project a more warm and welcoming manner. You can bring in a bit of light joking around and laughter while still maintaining professionalism. You can take a moment to ask about how their weekend was or find out what they think of the latest company initiative. You don't have to spend hours gossiping and snooping obviously (and in fact, would get your hand slapped for that as well), but you can spend a few minutes being more "human" with your co-workers and clients.

I do agree with the comment to discuss and clarify this further with your boss though, to ensure that this is what may have been meant.

Marie
Peer Moderator

[gee4]

Personally I think reviews are a waste of time.  It's an opportunity for those in power to bully others.  I would ask your boss what exactly he meant so that you can put this to rest.

Honestly if we came to work every day with a seriously grumpy attitude, our bosses would know all about it.  I believe when you get to a certain age with numerous years' experience behind you it is inappropriate to belittle people in this manner.

If only we got praised for the things we did do, those little things our bosses don't see, things would be a whole lot different.

If that is the only thing he criticised you for then you have nothing to worry about in the long run but I think you deserve a more indepth answer to the sweeping statement that was initially made.

[JessW]

It sounds like an excuse to say something, rather like never getting 100% at school, there will always be something not quite right otherwise what is there to strive to improve!

Try lowering the voice a tiny bit and speaking a little bit slower (sexier, I have been told) and you may find you are doing it just right with the words!

Jess

[Katie G]

I'd go back and ask for specific examples as well.  You don't have to go on the offensive, but rather the attitude that you want to understand exactly what the expectations are.  Frankly, I'm with Jess -- it's an excuse to ding you for something and so your boss picked something that can't be quantified or otherwise proved or disproved.  (Nice trick.)

[diamondlady]

And as I am always told in reviews here, is that no one is perfect, therefore, not a perfect review will be given. Where is the incentive?  Aside from personal justification on our part.

Diamondlady
Peer Moderator

[gee4]

That my be Diamondlady but on this occasion to be told to lighten up and not be so professional is nitpicking in my opinion.

[msmarieh]

gee, it may indeed be nitpicking, however, it also may be that the executive is trying to use a diplomatic word to tell the individual that they are too cold and unfriendly in the office.

Marie
Peer Moderator

[gee4]

I have worked with many like that and it never stopped them moving up the ladder.  In fact a lot of bosses like that in an assistant.

A review doesn't always have to be nasty.  It would be nice to be praised for once.

[msmarieh]

It's very true that many executives like that quality in an executive assistant, but what is important is that this executive does not.

Plus we don't know what positive things were said. It's quite possible this is the only negative comment in an otherwise glowing review. We (as humans) tend to hyperfocus on the one negative thing.

Marie
Peer Moderator