I was able to salvage this situation.

[lioness70]

I called a meeting with OM and Human Resources to get to the bottom of this, and what it boiled down to was a huge lack of communication-but NOT between me and OM.



OM was concerned that no one came to her with any concerns or questions during the 3 1/2 months I was here, so she went around to people, and THAT'S where the negative comments came from.



It appears that these "problems" happened only once AND they happened a while ago.  But...nobody went to me because they didn't want to confront me, and nobody told OM either.



OM and I are now keeping the lines of communication open so this doesn't happen again.



I managed to get myself a much clearer job description as well.



Apparently she WAS embarrassed by the baby shower mess, but it wasn't mentioned.  So it probably was never a factor-even though it looked suspicious at the time.



I assumed the worst would happen because I was in a similar situation with a not-so-good performance review a few years ago.  I tried to do the same thing-call a meeting to discuss the job-and they told me, basically, "If you don't like it, get out."  I was so afraid of the same thing happening.



I learned a lot and was, fortunately, able to save my job.



Thanks to all of you who gave me all that supportive advice.  I'm still digesting it all.  For those of you who could not-if you can't say anything constructive, please don't say anything at all.  I posted on other boards, NOT to have everyone say "This boss is no good, get out," but to get feedback based on the circumstances.



I'm glad this is all straightened out.





 

[goldenearring]

Things are lookin' up.  (Let's keep them that way!)

Enjoy the rest of your week.  I'm so pooped out from reading all the great advice, that I think I will take the rest of the week off of here!  Have a good one.

[countrigal]

Edited by Editorial Board for Inflammatory Content

[whitesatin]

Yay, Lioness!



You are on your way. You handled the situation beautifully. I knew you COULD come through this unscathed if you were willing to take the advice. It looks as though you just might be admin material after all!   Keep working on those communication skills and if you're not sure about something, ASK. It's amazing how much you can find out by just taking the time to ASK.



I look forward to hearing more success stories from you.



WhiteSatin                

[Katie G]

(((((( BIGGGG HUGGGG ))))))))  (and a big sigh of relief!)

I'm so glad this cleared up for you!

{Song running through my head, "Gonna be a bri---ght, bri---ght, sun-shine-y day....!}

[winkiebear]

I would suggest to all who post in this thread to remember Andrea's adminition:



   Play nice or play elsewhere.

[sungoddesslv]

Lioness,

I have been following your story without commenting.  However, today I read the following and wanted to share it.  Maybe not totally appropriate now that things have worked out (good job, BTW), but it is an excellent message.



LOVE WHAT YOU DO, OR DO SOME-THING ELSE.

You'll never achieve real success unless

you like what you're doing. No one has

ever succeeded in a line of endeavor

which they did not like.



Your chances of success are directly

proportional to the degree of pleasure

you derive from what you do. If you're in

a job you hate, face the fact

squarely and get out.



It's better to be a failure in something you

love, than attempting to be a success in

something you don't. Don't set compen-sation

as a goal. Find the work you love,

and the compensation will follow.



The more you love what you are doing,

the more successful it will be for you.

YOU CAN START TO WIN AT ANY TIME.



To solve any problem or to reach your

goal, you don't need to know all the an-swers

in advance. But you must have a

clear idea of the problem or the goal you

want to reach.



All you have to do is know where you're

going. The answers will come to you of

their own accord. Don't procrastinate

when faced with a big difficult problem,

break the problem into parts, and han-dle

one part at a time.



If you can get up the courage to begin,

you have the courage to succeed. It's

the job you never start that takes the

longest to finish. Don't worry about what

lies dimly at a distance, but do what lies

clearly ahead.



Your biggest opportunity is where you

are right now. Once you begin you're

half done.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Written by: Max Steingart

 

[Katie G]

That said something to me and I think it applies to a situation my husband is in as well.  I'm going to print out three copies:  one for the refrigerator, one for my desk, and one for my honey's briefcase as well.  (He'll read it as long as nobody's looking  )

[ozbound]

That's great Lioness. And best of all, you learned one of (IMHO) life's most important lessons: at least 90% of all the problems you encounter are caused by a simple Lack of Communication!    

[sinatrafan]

Again?!  Hey, Lioness, I loved your first instinct on this:  maybe you're not cut out for admin work. That's an interesting and perfectly valid theory. Why not explore some options? Why not seek out work (or a workplace) where your independent spirit and the more creative parts of your noggin are used--and valued? I thought (and still think) that an incredible number of brain cells and keystrokes were used trying to analyze your psyche and resolve your job issue. And the result, as it always is, involved communication--direct communication--with your coworker. Maybe the only thing you need to do is tune in to and trust your own instincts--not to mention your Muse. We're not all gonna fit in the same mold. And hurray for that!

[yankeestarbuck]

Well, I'm SO HAPPY that this is finally over. To be honest, I was worried for your job and your income.  I had your best interests at heart and am glad and relieved that things are going to be better for you.  I sincerely hope that having this job can enable you to move forward in your life, pay your bills and do the truly creative things you want to with your life.  It's a wonderful thing when we fear the worst and the total, amazing oposite happens.  I hope at least ONE PIECE of anyone's advice gave you some type of insight, strength or comfort.  Blessings to you, your family and your NEW job!  Good work, Lioness!

[workerbee]

I'm very happy that this situation worked out so well!  Nothing beats a good old-fashioned face-to-face meeting.  Keep things in perspective, Lioness.  You have a wonderful husband and baby to go home to each night, even if this job isn't your dream (for now, anyway).



Thanks for sharing the good news!



Elaine

[phoenix55]

Congratulations, Lioness.  I hope things continue to get better for you!  Everyone is right--keep that communication with your OM going.

Take care!!!

[donnap99]

Congratulations!!!  Having to walk into that meeting took courage - I hate to admit it, but there was once a time when I walked out of a similar situation, and I was the loser.  I'm glad it worked out for you!



As so many have already said -- Communication is so important!



Have a good day!  

[superninjaadmin]

By you calling a meeting "to get to the bottom of this" was a very bold step--------in the right direction!  Good job, girl!  I am glad you took the iniative to make things better again.  That action alone stands by itself.  



One thing that puzzles me about OM is that she went around looking for feedback on you and when she heard concerns or complaints and negative comments, she took it as gospel and didn't even speak to you about it.  Strange.  Instead, she allowed her imagination to manifest these unsubstantiated stories into something that was blown way out of proportion.  Very unfortunate.  She should have nipped any issues in the bud right away.  



Lioness, please your knowledge of her fault(s) and put them to your benefit.  Don't allow her to ever do this to you again.  You accomplish and control this by always keeping your lines of communication W-I-D-E open with OM.  If she doesn't, you initiate communication.  Tell her the instant that she hears of a problem, you want to be told - you want to fix it right away.  No more "I didn't want to say something because they didn't want to cause waves" or shuffling under the carpet.  



Lioness, I just had my annual performance review with my boss.  In the meeting, I told him I was ready to help him in a larger capacity and take on more challenging projects.  I told him I was willing to help his direct reports (HR, Accounting, Training Departments) with any special projects, too.  Working with these departments will provide me some great experience.  That was yesterday.  Today, I was already asked by HR to help them.  You know what?  That never would have happend if I didn't take iniative or ask my boss.  In a way, I'm creating my own job and doing exactly what I want!!!  Every day I learn something new, and I've been an admin for 20 years!  



You can do the same thing.  Ask and you shall receive!  You can make your job as interesting as you want to.  



Take care and give Nicky a hug for me.  



Super Ninja