lunch review

[dwreath]

Boss mentioned this week that next week we will grab lunch somewhere for my review.  He already gave me a sizable raise (10%) this week which shocked me and he said that he will do the review next week.  I've gone out to lunch with former bosses and never have had a problem.  But this one makes me a little nervous.  He is extremely professional and conservative.  I'm worried I'm going to put my foot in the mouth.  I also worry that I won't be able to hold up my end of the conversation if he starts to discuss things un-related to work.  



Any advice would be really appreciated.



Thanks

[whitesatin]

DWreath,



Welcome to TAA.  I would say the fact that he has already given you a 10% raise speaks for itself.  He has a very high regard for you and your professionalism.  10% is a phenomenal raise.  



Try to relax. Do some deep breathing ahead of time. I'm sure that you'll do just fine.  You might want to read up on some current events that may be of interest to discuss just in case you are at a loss for words. There is usually something going on in this world of ours that people enjoy discussing.



Let us know how your lunch goes.



WhiteSatin  

[winkiebear]

First of all, congrats on the 10%!!! That's a feat in and of itself in this day and age.



Secondly, welcome to TAA.



Thirdly, you'll do fine at lunch.  I completely understand your discomfort, been there.  Look at it this way - it's only an hour, and if it was a 'bad' review, you wouldn't have gotten the 10% and you wouldn't be doing it at lunch!



Just remember your table manners and you'll be fine.  (I find in times of anxiety, if I'm eating, sometimes instead of chewing slowly and eating normally, I shovel the food in ... ack, can you imagine?!)



 winkiebear

[nolalady]

Just wanted to add my welcome & congrats too!



I have to agree with the advice above, try to relax and everything will be fine.

[kkosmoski]

Dear DWreath,

     Please add my congrats to the others on a super raise.  I'm with you on the lunch - I would rather my boss give me a nice plant for a job well done than take me out to lunch.  Since most people are more than eager to talk about themselves, try asking your boss some light questions like, "have you lived in ______ (state) all your life?"  If he hasn't, ask how this state compares to where he was raised, etc., etc.  Ask about his kids, ages, grades in school, etc.  If your boss is used to taking people out to lunch, he will feel comfortable talking.  If a topic comes up you don't know about, tell him you don't know much about the subject and ask him to explain.  Personally, when I get into an uncomfortable situation, I always ask the Lord to help me & He always does.  This is my ace in the hole.

     Let us know how your lunch went when you return - you know we will be waiting for your post!

[dwreath]

Thanks for all the advice.  Thanks kk. for the questions to ask him.  You are right--everyone loves to talk about themselves.  Thats a good idea to keep in mind.  

[countrigal]

Congratulations on the raise!



Now, RELAX.  That's the most important thing to remember at the lunch.  Bossie is used to entertaining folks at a luncheon and should be able to go a long ways towards making it a relaxed, enjoyable experience.  He'll be sure to pick topics that you might be interested in (from clues picked up around the office, your desk, past discussions) so watch the news over the weekend and next week to be prepared for any topics from there and you'll be ok.



Next... think about what you want to order.  Pick something that is easy to eat and that you feel comfortable eating in front of others (might not be the best time to do the hands-on barbeque ribs <g>).  If you're worried about being nervous, have a couple of menu items in mind before going to lunch.  (you might not know the actual restaraunt, but some items tend to be on most any menu and you can pick some of those).  This allows you to choose your outfit (comfort/color) to go with lunch.  (Might not want to wear white if it's something that might drip, slide on the plate, etc).



Just relax and ejoy the lunch... Bossie thinks a lot of you to give you the raise AND lunch.  And who knows, this might be the perfect opportunity to discuss career goals, areas for improvement for you job, etc...

[radaro]

The advice that has been given so far is right on the money (as usual).  One more thing - which is pretty much a given - don't order alcohol to relax!



As for what food items to order, take your cues from your boss. (i.e. Don't order lobster if he is going to order the cheese sandwhich)

[msmarieh]

I must be in the minority. I have often had lunch with my various bosses in the past and enjoyed it. I used it as an opportunity to strengthen our relationship.



Ask about where he has worked before, how he got to this position, who was the best admin he ever saw and why did he like that person, where he sees the department / company / industry going over the next year or few years.



Ask him how he would like to develop your position. What does he think about you pursuing a certification or joining an association. Does he think the company would support you attending conferences or workshops?



This can be an informal opportunity to find out what makes him tick and how you can best mesh with his personality. Mind you, informal doesn't mean inappropriate conversation (don't confide how you got so blindingly drunk during your last company's holiday party that you made a pass at the CEO and that's how you ended up at this job!). But this is definitely a chance to raise some questions about your job, your boss, the company and get some great feedback that you can use to chart your career with them!



As for the logistical, consider ordering something like a chicken caesar salad (no cutting needed), a bowl of soup and a 1/2 sandwich - something light and easy to eat. Avoid the heavy onions, garlic, etc. which might make you nervous about your talking!  



As everyone else has said, RELAX! This is not a crucifixion, this is an opportunity. Welcome it!



Marie