Is this week over yet?

[jewels6567]

Okay this is just a little venting...



My week started off pretty good and then has gotten progressively worse.  I'm wondering if anything else is going to go wrong before it's over because I might just run of of here screaming and tearing my hair out.



So for starters...bossy came up to me and asked whether I knew about debits and credits.  So of course I said yes.  He then proceeds to tell me that that's what we're going to start doing for me (mind you I thought he was joking at first).  We are going to put a debit/credit system in place where if I do something good I get a credit; if I do something 'bad' or not by his standards I get a debit.  We are then going to tally them up at the end of the week and see what we have.  Naturally, I asked if we could do the same for him and he said yes.  At this point I still thought he was joking but it turns out he was completely serious.  As I thought more and more about it I got a little more irritated every time.  I considered the fact that maybe I was overreacting but I'm not.  I find it completely demeaning and I feel like I'm a child back in school getting graded or demerits or something.  Also the fact that he's not doing it with our entire group, I'm being singled out, I don't feel is right or fair.



Needless to say at this point I was pretty upset with bossy.  He's never been anything but nice to me and we usually have a wonderful relationship.  In fact I think he's the best boss I've ever had but this week he's been in a terrible mood and it seems like he's starting to take some of it out on me.



So then it seems that bossy missed a weekly conference call while I was in a meeting.  I wasn't aware that the time had changed and therefore hadn't changed it on his calendar.  Granted this could have been avoided and I do take responsibility for it.  BUT when I got back from my meeting I had an e-mail from bossy with the subject line 'Not Happy' and the body of the message said 'the xxx conference call was at 9 this morning - not good at all'.  Now remember I was already upset with him and this just tipped the boat.  I completely understand that this was not a good thing but I personally thought that e-mail was uncalled for.  



So bossy and I really didn't talk much yesterday...I will still pretty upset with him and he was really busy.  So fast forward to today...



My intern shows up to work late but he is also drunk from last night.  It's a good thing that bossy is not here today.  Now the thing about this is that I've always been really cool with my intern and he put me in a really bad position today.  I did the right thing and made him go home.  He had a deadline to meet today for me which makes it even worse because there is no possible way I can let him stay here like that.  He tried to lie to me and tell me that he was just tired (which he probably was after coming straight to work from partying) but I could just tell by looking at him and talking to him.  He did feel bad and realized how unprofessional and irresponsible it is but still kept trying to insist that he was just tired.  I told him that if either bossy or the CEO (he is best friend's with the CEO's son) had seen him he would have been fired.  I just don't think he realized the position that he put me in and I'm still really agitated by it.  



Whew!  Okay I think I'm done.  Sorry for the length but I feel a little better now.  I hope everyone else had a better week.



Julie

 

[dettu]

Julie, fill up the tub with Calgon and let it take you away!  What is UP with the debits?  That's totally lame and childish.  Maybe when bossy is over whatever's his problem this week, you could talk to him and say you'd like to find a more workable solution, like just making notes to yourself (and he to himself) and then meeting once a week to discuss points where each of you would like to improve the relationship?  Mine would never do that, but most bosses would, given their love of meetings, I think.

[execsec]

I think that if this were happening to me, I would want to know why we were doing this, what purpose it would serve, and what the final outcome would be.  Or find out what set this off and how we (the emphasis on WE) can improve in the future.

[phoenix55]

I think if it were me, first off I'd give him a BIG debit for starting that stupid system!



I'd ask what's up with that.  Seems totally unprofessional to me.

[superninjaadmin]

In my entire 20  years out in the work force, I have NEVER heard of "debiting" and "crediting" my good work and poor work, tallying these up weekly to account for and to measure my performance.  



Spank me if I'm wrong, but this is just plain weird!  Is this "bossy" of yours a control freak or whaaaaaat???  I personally don't like this situation and I believe it's not contributing in a positive way - at all!  The devil is in the details, and I think that this guy is trying to create a living "hell" for you at work.  



Jewel, I suggest that you come up with a better way to track your work performance.  Think of several options that focus on *Positive" work performance, not the negative and discuss these options with your boss.  Make it clear that the "debit" and "credit" system is not conducive to a positive work environment and that you don't feel comfortable with this way to reward or penalize your work performance.  Most importantly, you and your boss obviously have a huge communication gap that needs a major overhaul.  Open, clear, trusting communication is the only way to have a happy and healthy working relationship.  Sending an e-mail to you that says "Not Happy"  is NOT the way a boss should communicate with his employee.  



Who is this guy???  <<scratching head in disbelief>>



He needs to go to supervisor/manager remedial training.  

[goldenearring]

Bossie needs a BIG lesson in email etiquette and in interpersonal skills.  His account with you deserves the HUGE deficit it now has.  (He acted like butthead, and I think the demerits for that are -50.)  That puts in you in the lead!

[radaro]

This is straight out of a behaviour modification text book.  Is your boss going to put you in a cage?  Do you get a little cheese morsel for a "credit" and an electric shock for a "debit"? Man O Man.  I think you need to set up a meeting with HR.

[whitesatin]

The picture I have in my head shows a chicken in the cage at a carnival.  Said chicken plays a song with it's beak on a tiny piano.  If chicken plays the notes correctly, out pops a piece of corn.  I see your situation on the same level as the chicken's.  Demeaning, HE@@ YEA!! Uncalled for, unprofessional and totally INSANE.



Please keep us updated on this situation Jewels.



WS (Shaking my head and fuming, muttering "what caliber"?

[jewels6567]

Ohman you all crack me up.  Just to clarify though...bossy isn't at all like this normally.  Like I said in my post he's the best boss I've ever had (and I've had some great ones).  He's usually very communicative and straightforward and is always looking our for my best interests.  I think he just had a bad week and decided to try and take it out on me.  He's in for a suprise though because that sure isn't going to fly with me.  I had already planned on speaking with him about it but I was waiting to 1) calm down a little and 2) see if he was going to realize what a stupid idea it is on his own.  



One good thing about him is that I can be completely blunt with him.  I don't have to skirt around the issue or try to soften the blow.  For example, with this I'll just come right out and say what a demeaning and childish and stupid thing this is.  



I'll probably do it Monday so I'll let you all know how it goes.  I'm sure he'll see it my way after I talk to him.  



Julie

[countrigal]

The first thing that came to my mind was who had been talking to him telling tales?  If you have had a good working relationship with him and now out of the blue you're being asked to do this, that tells me that someone talked to him and complained about your work ethics, amount, or something.  So now he's trying to "fix" that problem by using this system.  



What I'd do is sit him down and discuss why this system has been implemented, what the expected outcome is, and see if I couldn't find a different method of reaching it.  I really think you're going to find that someone is talking out of turn, I would assume really stretching things to make it appear that you are not doing your job correctly, and has it in for you.  Call me paranoid but I would be watching my back.



Take the weekend to cool off (because heaven knows it would take me more than one night to cool off from that type of treatment) and then come in Monday ready to corner bossie into explaining it all to your satisfaction.



Good luck!  And definitely invite Calgon to take it all away this weekend!

[bethalize]

Ask him what he wants to achieve, and then how he thinks this system will do that.

It's amazing how many people crumple when you ask them that.

[ozbound]

Oh Brother   Not only would I say bossie is up for some big "demerits", the intern is as well! But the whole system is indeed silly and demeaning.  I would definitely have a talk with him on Monday. Hope you have a relaxing weekend and get to leave it all behind at least for a couple of days!  

[jewels6567]

Here is the update.  I talked to bossy today and he was joking.    Of course then I was a little peeved at him since I had explicitly asked if he was serious but he assured me that it was only meant to be funny.  He was actually a little offended that I would think that he would do something like that.  Again, I reminded him that I did ask if he was serious.  I swear they can be so difficult at times.  Of course now he realizes that he never wants to be on my bad side again    



But anyways, everything is all good in my world again.  (Well the work world anyways   )



Julie

[countrigal]

Jewels... did you bring him anything aweful yesterday just to make your point?  That was mean and cruel, not funny.  I'm glad it was just a joke though.  Here's hoping that his sense of humor improves.  



Have a great week!