Get to the Point!

[BeckyA]

I have a problem with one of the people I do work for.  He wont get to the point.  He goes on and on and on about a project or a situation and 15 minutes later I get what needs to be done.   I need to figure out how to just politely say.. I am busy, can you just get to the point of what you need?

Has anyone had rambling bosses that take forever to get their message across.  Some times I think his thought process is off.   This morning he (in a nutshell) wanted me to set up a meeting between 2 other people.  It took 10 minutes of talking about who he wanted to join and narrow it down to these two people, then another 10 minutes of ways to get together when in the end it was always going to be, get a conference room and let everyone know.  He is a senior VP so I must show respect.

[gee4]

I personally don't have that problem, but one of the other secretaries here has a difficult time with her team who travel extensively.

Yesterday she related a conversation she had with one of her team in relation to travel next week.  The traveller was basically thinking out loud, how they could fit in meetings, be here in the morning and there in the afternoon whilst my colleague just had to listen.

I don't have much time for himming and ha-ing either so I usually I say to people, sure just drop me the main details in an email and I will sort...or...well when you know what your plans are sure just let me know.

Try that and see how you get on.  Throw it back to them as if it's their decision, which it actually is! 

[Cathy S]

I adopt the technique Gee suggests - ask them to deliver the detail on an e-mail - not least because some of the deliberators I have worked for are prone to then deliberating over whether what you have finally booked is what they finally asked for ...

Life is just too, too short ...

... now shall I check the diaries first or should I perhaps do that e-mail to finance - no perhaps the diaries ... on the other hand ........ 

Cathy

[rose.winter1980]

I'm sure you "show respect" to everyone in your company, Becky, regardless of their status, but Senior VPs may require a little special handling.  If they're men, then just treat them very kindly - as you would a small child who doesn't know whether he wants vanilla, pistachio or chocolate icecream, or any combination of those three or all three at once.  It worked with my last boss. 

It is a frustrating situation, and sometimes bossies seem to forget that their assistants have a hefty workload, but you might be able to progress this if you developed your own strategy for handling such conversations are you mention.  A mental checklist might help which would enable you to, very subtly, take charge of the conversation. If you go through the "checklist" and ask questions (suggested date of meeting, time and length, location, refreshments, topic(s) for discussion, delegates, proposed outcomes etc etc).  That sort of approach generally gets people to focus reasonably well. 

[Cathy S]

If they're men, then just treat them very kindly - as you would a small child who doesn't know whether he wants vanilla, pistachio or chocolate icecream, or any combination of those three or all three at once.  It worked with my last boss. 

  Making sure a tick list is provided to help them decide without having to remember too many choices at once?  Some of my previous bosses would have had to ring home to find out which flavour they liked best!

[gee4]

I think this highlights just how differently men and women think, regardless of our roles.

I guarantee you a female boss would be more decisive!

[Atlanta Z3]

I am beginning to think I will always be the dissenting opinion.  Many times a previous boss used me as a sounding board for who should be in meeting, topics that needed to be included, time allotted, who should travel or call in etc.  I like to think we take care of the small details so they can stay big picture.  They are paying my salary, so if they want me to sit in their office while "they ramble on" it's their prerogative.  I would never treat my boss like a small child.

[Cathy S]

Many times a previous boss used me as a sounding board  ...  I like to think we take care of the small details so they can stay big picture. 

I completely agree with this and have also been in this position with several bosses I have worked for, and it is fantastic when it is like this ...

... BUT I have worked for several bosses who are as Becky described and what they actually pay my salary for is to provide high quality administrative support to enable their office to run smoothly - so as you say they can stay big picture.  I don't tell them how to do their job and I expect the courtesy of being allowed to do mine to the highest standard.

The best bosses I have worked for have started our working relationship with letting me know their general preferences (whether it be travel, meeting time of day, etc) and then told me specifics for that item so I can go away and return to them with an itinerary/event plan to approve.  This is the way I work best and it gives them better value for money.

Sitting waiting for someone to deliberate about their 'ideal' is a waste of both our times - since we don't even know if their 'ideal' is available.  I shouldn't be encouraging my boss to be inefficient in this way ... and waste company money.

The way I would deal with a small child is basically patient consistency and good directed guidance - and in the past this approach has made the difference for boss' I worked for between them being mediocre and not making promotion and them adopting better management styles and getting fast-tracked. 

... it isn't about embarrassing them it is about educating them ...

[gee4]

A mental checklist might help which would enable you to, very subtly, take charge of the conversation.

A checklist works in anticipation of any meeting, but until those details are confirmed, I personally would have no idea who my boss wants to attend a meeting, what kind of meeting it is or indeed what preparation is required.  People in these positions need to provide that information for us to be able to do our job.

Guaranteed some meetings are recurring and follow the same format each time, so in that case we just use our iniative.

Providing support is one thing, being a mind-reader is another thing entirely.

[rose.winter1980]

It's good to know I got your attention.

The "mental checklist" is really about being able to prompt your manager. In an ideal world we wouldn't need to do that and our managers would provide every little detail of information that we might possibly require in order to "support" them, but we don't live in an ideal world.  I expect it all depends on what level you work and how pro-active you are, or feel you need to be.  If your manager is the CEO of a major company then he/she won't expect to have to provide every tiny detail.

[suecsi]

I'm with Cathy - this has worked for me with my two best bossies so far, but unfortunately not with the last one, part of the problem I was having in the other thread about most of my role being outsourced.

However, new bossie seems much keener for me to take control of things as Cathy described and to basically just tell him where he needs to be and provide him with what he needs to get on with things.  I am currently much happier than I was with old bossie - and am keeping fingers crossed it stays this way!