Message #68003

[spitfire78]

I disagree with some of your statements, atlantaz.

I would never want to be in the position of reminding my boss of their spouse's birthday, their anniversary, etc.  That really doesn't have anything to do with what I am being paid to do.  

My boss and I get along very well.  We like and respect each other.  We have very similar work styles and ethics.  She has a completely different personality from me, and her personal lifestyle is completely different from mine.  But that doesn't mean that we don't click as a team in the office - we do.  Let's just say that if we met outside of the office environment, I doubt that we would be personal friends.  

That being said, she liked my work so much that she wanted me and no one else in this job.  She never even opened it up for interviews; we handled it as a job reclassification for me because she didn't want to interview anyone else when she knew she wanted me.  She has told me time and again that I am "perfect" for this job.  I respect her work ethics and the way she handles the job.  She is by far the best administrator we have at the company, and she is willing to to teach me what she knows.  

Maybe we have a very unusual relationship - I don't know.  But I know that it works for us.  I'm happy for those of you who want to have personal relationships with your boss and do - that is fabulous.  I just know that I'm very happy with the way things are.  As I said, we do talk about our weekend - I ask how her kids are doing in college.  We always discuss our pets.  It's not that I don't ever discuss anything personal at all.  It's just that I try to keep it limited and not go into great details about our lives.  I felt really uncomfortable hearing all of the details of her ups and downs with her boyfriend.  She did come in one day in tears and came into my office to explain that she was upset over a breakup and she apologized for not being up to par that day.  I appreciated that very much.  One day I ended up in her office in tears because of something that happened medically with my mother.  And we laughed about having cried in each others office.  I do think it is good to let your co-workers, boss, or subordinate know if there is something truly upsetting you on a personal level, so they understand if your attitude is "off" that day.

It really isn't a cut-and-dried separation for me, which is why I said I felt similarly to Gee but not quite.  If I understand her posts correctly, she prefers an entirely professional relationship with no personal blend at all.  I like a little personal blend, but not too much.