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ohiosec
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« on: February 20, 2001, 09:19:23 pm » |
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Today I was interrupted three separate times (by the Department Head's secretary) while I was having a conversation with another co-worker. One of the times occurred when I was in the kitchen having a discussion with another co-worker when she walks into the kitchen and WHILE WE WERE TALKING asks the co-worker a question about her china plates. I turned around and walked out of the kitchen without saying a word. I wanted to remind her that she interrupted our conversation, but I think I would end up being the one looking small. However, I can't continue to let her interrupt my conversations with others! The people I'm talking with must not have a boundary issue with that because they don't seem to be put out by her interrupting -- but I am!
This woman is extremely inappropriate in her communications with others. She says the rudest things you can imagine -- like, if you're in the bathroom with her and another co-worker (i.e. Susie) who is very thin she'll say to you, "don't you wish you could be as thin as Susie?" What can you say??? She once said this to me and another co-worker told me she said it to her too.
Also, if you're trying to run out the door a few minutes early and she sees you, she'll yell in her loudest voice "Susie's leaving early, Susie's leaving early!"
Lovely, huh??!?!
Any and all suggestions on how to handle this woman are welcome! Thank you!
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msrobbie
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« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2001, 10:20:01 pm » |
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Hello ohiosec,
First of all, it appears that this woman does not have enough to keep her busy during the day. That gives her the time to wander around the office looking for "victims".
She sounds as if she is a controlling type person who wants to be in charge. Her needs and tasks and questions take first priority in her world. She probably doesn't even know that she is irritating you when she interrupts, and it seems that your co-workers have just gotten used to her butting in whenever she feels like it. And the "Susie's leaving early!" thing is most likely an attempt to appear cute and friendly while drawing attention to the offender at the same time. More control on her part.
You could try to give her a little of her own medicine. Nothing too obvious or mean, just a few well-placed interruptions of your own. Of course, that could back-fire on you, and she is the department head's secretary. She might miss the point entirely. You could try a very private, well thought out discussion with this woman, explaining to her that you are sure her questions or comments are important, but that they "derail" your train of thought, keeping you from being as efficient in your tasks as you might be if you weren't interrupted.
As far as the personal remarks about Susie's physique, the next time she says, "Don't you wish you were as thin as Susie?", say something like, "No, I'm perfectly happy just being me! Would you like to be as thin as Susie?" Turn it around on her. Just don't say anything demeaning about Susie. It sure as heck is not Susie's fault that she's being drawing into this crazy situation.
Do not loose your cool. Do not give her the opportunity to claim that you are being "mean" to her.
One other thing. If there is someone who is an office manager or administrative supervisor, I would suggest a nice long talk with him/her about your situation.
I'm sure others will have more ideas about what you should do. It is truly a difficult situation.
Good luck in resolving this problem.
Robbie
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ohiosec
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« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2001, 03:19:48 pm » |
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Ms Robbie -- I think you are right on all counts and I appreciate your thoughts very much!
We don't have an office manager, so there isn't anyone here that I can go to about this. Oh well, at least I have this group!
Thanks again!
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andrea843
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« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2001, 03:55:30 pm » |
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but still.. Ohiosec, you're my 150,000th visitor.
Hands her virtual roses,, virtual chocolates, kisses both cheeks and heads back off to web land humming a juanty tune!
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ohiosec
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« Reply #4 on: February 21, 2001, 04:31:28 pm » |
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Andrea -- Thank you! I can't tell you what an honor this is! I'd like to also thank the 149,999 visitors who were here before me. I am enjoying the virtual roses (which I am looking at right now) and the virtual chocolates (for a diabetic, they are the best kind)! Yum!!!!! : - )
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adminwithatude
Newbie
Posts: 13
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« Reply #5 on: February 27, 2001, 11:01:59 am » |
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I can understand your frustration. Though I'd like to add a situation that frustrates me as well. If I've got an important work related issue to discuss with one of two admins gossiping or discussing personal issues, I find it extremely irritating that I'm not acknoledged in a timely fashion. I don't consider it rude of me interrupting. Am I incorrect? Normally I'd say something like "I'm sorry to interrupt, but...". Especially if I've traveled all the way from another floor to discuss this work related issue. I'm curious if everyone considers this rude.
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ohiosec
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« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2001, 11:27:45 am » |
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AdminWithATude, I agree that it's rude to continue talking when someone is obviously there waiting to say something. Not to acknowledge that person is beyond rude! I've had it happen to me and I don't like it one bit. After waiting and not having the people talking come up for air, I don't think it's rude to interrupt in the manner you described.
In the case I mentioned, we were in the kitchen and she interrupted the second she arrived (without saying she was sorry to interrupt) to comment about china -- while we were still talking.
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