How do you say no?

[andrea843]

In the workplace, what successful tools have you used to say "no" to an assignment, or task? Were there negative results from your attempt to draw boundries, and what were they? By the same token, did your ability to say "no" cause any positive effects?

[juspeachy]

Just learning to say no was hard to do.  I used to work in a job that had me so busy, I literally was in tears every afternoon on my way home.  I worked in an office where I supported eight very busy Project Managers.  Between travel, timekeeping, correspondence, meetings, and presentations, I was hopping from morning till evening.  



I had to start asking people when they needed something done and honestly telling them that I had other priorities ahead of theirs.  Some of them were more understanding than others.  Some of them were more "high maintenance" than others.  Some of them were just spoiled brats and it seemed nothing ever made them happy.  



Eventually, I took a temporary promotion to another part of the base to escape that office.  I knew that I would have to eventually return to that job, but hoped something else would open up before then.  It didn't.



The day after my return to that office, I turned in a request to laterally transfer to anywhere else.  My supervisor told me that he couldn't approve my request because he didn't see the logic in transferring to another job at the same pay.  Before I could stop myself, I told him that just working for a different bunch of people would be reward enough.  Without another word, he approved my request.  I don't think he ever really forgave me for leaving.



It turned out to be the best thing for me, though.  Within another year I had been promoted to my current job where I am most happy.  



I guess I only have positive results from learning to draw the line.  Some of those same people I used to work with send their current admin support person to see me for guidance.  (I'm not doing the work, just teaching them how to do it the right way.)



JusPeachy in GA



 

[spitfire78]

Ah, a subject close to my heart!  We all know that, as much as we would like, we just simply cannot say yes to everything that is requested of us.  I work very hard, and I try to accomodate as many people as I can.  However, there are times when it just is not possible to do that.  I usually find that a straightforward, direct approach works best for me.  "Joe, you know that I always try to help whenever I can.  Right now, I have so many projects on my desk that need my attention that there is no way I can do this for you.  I am very sorry to do this to you, and I'd be glad to help you out in the future, if I can fit it in with my workload."  It's hard for anyone to be angry when I state it this way.  Also, because it is all TRUE!  They do know that I work very hard and try to do whatever I can here.  So, if I say that I cannot do it, they know that I am not just blowing them off.  They appreciate my honesty and sincerity.  This works best for me.  



I also had one boss (I always work for multiple bosses) who needed everything right away.  Well, I caught on to that pretty soon.  The things weren't really emergencies, he just wanted them done right away so he could say they were done.  So, whenever he brought something to me and asked me to do it ASAP, I'd always say, "I'll do the best I can.  I have other jobs for other people that also need to be done.  I'll get it done as soon as I can."  And, I would do just that.  I didn't push other work aside for his, but worked his in as quickly as I could.  He came to appreciate that.  We ended up with a wonderful working relationship, and I was very sad when he left.



I believe in being tactful and polite, but firm.  For the most part, I have had only positive responses to this response.

[chris68]

My way right now is pretty simple, if they request a certain job to be done and I am uncertain if I can handle it with my current workload (which varies at times) I take it to the boss with the current situation, per his request, and let him handle any problems.  To date, I haven't had too much difficulty with this and most people know that anything new and out of the ordinary goes through him first.  It's worked wonderfully so far.



Chris68

[countrigal]

I've always chosen the direct and honest approach.  Getting actual due dates/times for things allows me to know whether or not it will fit with what I already have pending and to give an honest response to cries for help.  For those who are more high maintenance I would simply say something to the effect that I would love to help them and will gladly do so after completely projects x, y and z which have a higher priority currently.  This has always been received fairly well with only a couple of problems.  Since I only worked for one boss but had many co-workers who relied upon 3 admins to support them bossie was never a problem.  He told me what priorities were and I kept to them based on the daily changing needs in the office.  If a co-worker decided that my saying no or not prioritizing them higher was a problem, then they complained to him and he would come ask me about it.  At that point I could state what the projects were, with their due dates/priority and he could either agree or steer me towards a different set of priorities.  Normally he would agree with my priorities and it would be dropped, occasionally I was unaware of a change in needs and would then make the change on the priority accordingly.  We had a smooth working relationship and he was a great help in working with so many varied workgroups.  



Overall, my ability to be polite and honest when saying no (or just waiting for them to decide that my timeline wouldn't work for them, thereby not actually saying no but not getting the work) has worked well for me, taught me to delegate work when needed and allowed me to continue my upward mobility in this company.

[whitesatin]

The respectful, direct and honest approach has always worked for me as well.  I'll do my best to help out, but I keep in mind that there are priorities and work accordingly.



I haven't received any negative feedback from this approach.



WhiteSatin

[laundryhater]

I just say, "I'm sorry, but I have four other projects on my plate right now which must get done by Thursday."



My boss usually understands and passes it on to someone else, but I will show him the projects I'm working on and if he deems his is more of a priority, he will tell me so. And I gladly set those other projects aside while I complete his. He informs the people who gave me the other projects, that I will be working on his first and then get back to theirs. This always works out well for us.

[bohorquez]

Like most of us, I struggled to tell co-workers no.  It was only when I received my first review here at my current job that I knew that telling my co-workers no was a must.



I am direct with all of them.  "Sorry <name>, but I'm working on this <project> for Ken right now and I won't have time to work on anything else for 3 days."  Or something to that nature.  



What I have learned was that many of their "projects" were things that they could do by themselves.  For example:  Mary need me to do tabs for her binder.  She asked me in the morning and I told her that I was working on a presentation for Ken and it was going to be an all day project.  Even after I said this Mary continued to pester me about the tabs.  Now Jenny is asking me to fax a document....oh wait here comes Frank asking me to type a memo for him.  So I told them all no and when they didn't get it I was forced to go to my bosses and have them handle the situation.  



Which they did!  So now everyone MUST ask me what I'm working before they give me something to do.    I love it!



Direct with respect is the best approach.



Bridget

[jadegrniiz]

Honestly?



Everytime I'm asked about a task I feel is inappropriate (for whatever reason), I tend to find a way to make it happen. But, I DO explain that performing such tasks will take away from my regular duties and priorities, and I've found that it usually makes bossie reconsider and give it to someone else.



I lost a job 1 year ago this July because I didn't roll over for my boss. He expected me to be there night and day (7:30A to 7:30P weekdays, and a few hours on Saturdays) because we were overloaded with work... and I said "No, bossie... I have a daughter that absolutely MUST come first, so perhaps we could evaluate the obvious need for a second admin in the office." Sure, there was another admin... but she replaced me! Don't get me wrong... I don't regret it for a minute. But it DOES make me gunshy about saying no.



The only time I'd say NO without even slight hesitation is when the task is against my moral values or is illegal.