Is it my place?

[jadegrniiz]

I work for a non-profit Hospice.

The empty office in front of my desk has now been filled with a new Director. It's a new position in our organization, and "Marge" was hired. Marge has never worked in healthcare, nor has she any background in non-profit organizations. Her background is in Chemical Sales, and she is a real "bulldog" sales lady. Very aggressive. Our organization is NOT aggressive, and our lack of aggression is what makes us unique from other Hospices in our area. It's what makes us successful.

Marge is not my boss, nor do I support her in any way. She is simply utilizing the office in front of my desk because it was available. Her "crew" of staff will occupy some empty cubicles outside her office. These cubes were previously used by my department for storage, and since Marge's staff will be out of the office 95% of the time, I was told it was OK to leave our things in those overhead cubicle storage areas.

Marge came on board 3 weeks ago. This past 3 weeks has been nothing but turmoil to me and everyone else within earshot of Marge. Here are the most unbelievable of her actions so far:

-While asking me to do something for her (which I declined to do) she noticed the photos of my 2 kids. She noticed my oldest (almost 11) and youngest (16 months), and proudly guessed that the oldest was actually a niece or sister, and baby was mine. When correcting her with a "I didn't do drugs or drink when I was a teenager, but I did have a baby." she launched into a tyraid about it - and said I might has well have done all those things, because at least they aren't permanent. It was a very offensive comment, and very ignorant.

-She mocks her staff members she doesn't like. Case in point is her Medical Community Liason, who solicits doctors to refer patients to OUR Hospice (think pharmacutical sales type job). Liason is very timid, and, well... to be honest isn't a very trendy dresser, has glasses the size of her face and walks sort of hunched forward. While standing in front of my desk, speaking to another staff member, she mocked the Liason's walk and said she wants someone who can walk in with confidence, not ::::insert mockery of Liason here:::

-She wants the above mentioned liason to dress more "trendy", lose some weight and buy new glasses, so that she can achieve the "look" Marge thinks she should have.

-Marge is all over the place with ideas, and many times it has nothing to do with her department, but rather, mine and also the department of the other admins in my area. She "bashes" our bosses for their strategies, and says it like "her way" is the "only" way to be successful.

-Marge frequently receives personal calls on her mobile phone, and chats for long periods of time. Last week, she was cleaning out my storage cubicles for her staff to use, and got a call. Instead of stopping (or hanging up), she put her hands free set on the phone, and walked around the office chatting about her former job for 30 minutes.

Ok, so here's my question: Is it out of line for me to go to HR, and give an "insider tip" about how Marge is doing? I'm comfortable enough with our HR Manager to do this, and I feel that what I say would in fact remain anonymous.

Am I off base? And secondly, how the heck can I tune her out?

Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[blufire21]

Well, there are a few things that you can speak up on.  #1 being her tyraid about your kids.  She had no right to say anything like that, and you can and should talk to HR about that.  You could mention the comments about her Liason also.  Since such things are happening at your desk, and you can't help but overhear.  I would say something like: "I know it's not my place, but such and such has been happing in front of my desk.  Hearing such stuff makes  me feel very uncomfortable.  Also, I would mention to your boss about her trashing the other departments.  Let you're boss know that the trash talk might work its way to her department.  That way she is aware of the situation.  That's her problem not yours.


Keep us posted.

Ellen in TX

[radaro]

OMIGOSH, she's got a lot of nerve to invade your personal life.  None of her darn business.  By the way, using drugs and alcohol can be permanent, too.  Shows how much she knows.  Of the three, I'd rather have the baby - much less damage and a lot more love.

[deedee]

Well, Jade, while Marge sounds like an overbearing pain in the ***,  and I can totally relate to your experiences with her, how have her actions/remarks affected your work?  Certainly her personal remarks are offensive and unnecessary (isn't it a shame we can't relive those moments when we have had time to think of a snappy comeback?), her long personal calls are intrusive and her behavior towards her staff is downright rude, when it comes down to it, is Marge affecting how your work gets done?  I have had my share of problem co-workers, as other forum members may know from my posts, and I have had to adopt the philosophy that as long as that person, no matter how much of a jerk, isn't actually impacting the way in which I work, and my efficient performance, then you may just have to, as my daughter says, suck it up.  As for ways to tune her out, you can always cover your ears and say "la-la-la-la, I can't hear you".  (OK, that's a joke).  My sympathies are totally with you, and I totally think her comments on your personal life and the spacing of your children are completely irrelevant, if that's any help!   I married at a very young age and had my first daughter so young, that people often mistake my granddaughter for my own child, and I am nearly 50!

[andream]

She's a lawsuit waiting to happen if she equates your liason's job effectiveness with her looks.  The rest? She's a jerk and unfortunately there are no laws against being a jerk, however what IS actionable is basing job competance on appearance and any statement to that end, could be a potential mine field. Lose weight buy new glasses?! What the HECK does that have to do with the fact that the woman was obviously compentant enough to land the job and apparently has the skills to do it.  I would approach HR about THESE issues from an "Is this illegal or bad for our company?"  point of view. Or perhaps, I am concerned that Liason might overhear these comments and wonder if they present any liability for us.

The liability will depend on how your particular HR manager understands US employment law and whether or not she considers the ramifications of the bigger picture if the Liason might ever decide that she was dismissed or demoted because of the way she dresses.

The other issues, you have with this individual can come out naturally if the conversation should go in that direction.  

My tuppence!

Andrea

[jadegrniiz]

Well, I suppose after today it's time I quit going home with a stiff neck from all the tension, and make a point tomorrow to speak to my good buddy, the HR Director.

You know what she did today? She sat in her office with the door wide open, and offered someone a job. She woooed the woman with all the wonderful benefits, and then said, "I know the salary isn't all the great, frankly, I'm ashamed to offer it to you, but it's all I could get for you. The offer is $18.08 per hour, which amounts to $37,606."

My jaw hit the floor. This is just another liason position, and I BARELY make $20k per year - and my boss had to step on toes to get even that much. I'm truly offended, and even a bit jealous. But I couldn't help but listen - after all, she's RIGHT here in front of me. After I heard the salary, I got up from my desk, and went to my boss (who is out of my immediate office area and cannot see or hear what goes on unless I tell her).  My boss was blown away, as well.... because Marge isn't even AUTHORIZED to make offers of employment. That's saved for the HR manager.

Oh, well.

Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[raindance]

Interestingly enough, Jade, my last employment was working in a hospice - I worked there for nine years.  I would be very surprised if this lady survives much longer without a major attitude check.  .  It takes a certain calibre of person to work in a hospice and this lady doesn't seem suitable.  She's doing a very efficient job of working herself OUT of a job.

Let us know how you get on.

Raindance

[patphi]

I would advise go to HR QUICK - do not waste a minute.  She is not only a lawsuit waiting to happen - the comments about your personal life as well as those about her liason are not only inappropriate, they at least border on hassament if not out and out so.

Many companies have a 90 day policy in which they can let an associate go with no questions asked.  However, if they hit that 91st day it takes an "Act Of God" to get rid of them.  Don't know if your company has this policy or not; if they do you need to bear this in mind.

I say you have no choice.  HR or at the least Marge's supervisor needs to be aware of her crass treatment of others.

As for the talking on the hands free phone while working, this is an irritant to add to many others; however, not actionable.  Although it does go to show just how unprofessional she is.

In making your comments to HR maintain a high degree of professionalism.  Tell them what you have observed without emotions creeping in.  Then let it go!  For you own peace of mind and sanity.

Pat In Orlando

[mathwhizchick]

Jade, the thought has struck me--in reading all the things she is doing, it seems to me that she WANTS to be overheard, that her actions are calculated and deliberate, e.g., she WANTED you to hear about the job offer she made.
I understand that she may be one of those people who are too dense to realize how their actions and conversations are taken.  However, there is the flip side as well.  I've seen and had to deal with both.
It does open up an entirely different can of worms, as well as a whole new set of speculations about motive and sanity.
You've gotten very good advice.  Good luck and keep us posted as you are able.

[jadegrniiz]

Well, I talked to HR.... and she was flabbergasted. She acknowledged it was inappropiate and we talked some more, I was able to completely vent - and then the HR manager thanked me and we were done.



Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[raindance]

That took some courage, Jade.  Now, what is HR going to do about your coworker?  I hope it is something constructive and beneficial for you and all your other colleagues.

Raindance

[blufire21]

I'm glad you were able to voice your concerns and have them heard.  Please keep us posted.

Ellen in TX

[bethalize]

Absolutely, good for you - but what is going to be done?

I know it's a hassle, but documenting everything, including what has gone up to now, would probably be wise.

Bethalize
Peer Moderator

[jadegrniiz]

Document - you betcha!

Been doing that since the first sign of trouble with this woman.

I don't know what exactly our HR can/will do as of right now, but I know SOMETHING will be done. Our HR manager is pretty strict about what is right and wrong, and never has a problem telling someone they are breaking the rules. I just hope this woman isn't SO unprofessional that she figures out who "ratted" her out... and she retaliates. We'll see... and thanks to everyone for the input and support

Jadegrniiz
Peer Moderator

[mathwhizchick]

If she does retaliate, document and go back to HR.