Message #54542

[dettu]

I'm going to disagree with raindance just this once. My old bossie did this to me--and had a member of HR present as a surprise. He tore apart every aspect of every interaction I had with co-workers, including those with whom I had friendly/informal relationships outside the office. He had obviously misunderstood a lot of what he'd heard, but I was not going to try to correct him under the circumstances, as there were two of them and only one of me. He had a huge stack of notes he'd taken on my "behavior."

What I realized was that this was NOT the job for me, that he was just too incredibly two-faced for me to continue doing my best work for him. I was not able to leave at the time; I had to stay and it was AWFUL. To survive there, I attempted to be as droid-like as possible. I made sure never to frown, never to discuss ANYTHING that wasn't specifically related to work, and to give a huge, toothy grin with everything I said to any person.

He was unable to find fault with this except he remarked several times, "You seem withdrawn," to which I didn't respond at all. How should a person SEEM when she knows every move she makes is watched and recorded? I do mean everything--he had notes on my FACIAL EXPRESSIONS.

Eventually, work and home life situations changed just enough that I could move to this new job. Here I am the same person I was before ex-bossie's meeting, except that I do smile more--genuinely, because people here truly appreciate my work. I am the same professional person I was before, it's just that here, that's welcomed and encouraged.

My advice is: look at the situation; is this really where you want to stay?