To nice?

[susans]

Can being "to nice" get you work abused or stepped upon?  Do you know anyone who is "too nice"

[gee4]

I think yes being too nice can be a hindrance but we can't help our individual personalities.  Some people are more ruthless than others.

It all depends on where you work, who you work for and how demanding your job is.  Do you need to be nice or ruthless?  I guess we all adapt to a situation and act accordingly.

I think the nicer you are the more people take advantage.

[spitfire78]

My boss and I have a running joke between us that if we were nasty, unhelpful, and unproductive, we wouldn't be nearly as stressed because no one would give us work to do and they would all leave us alone.  We have people here who are like that, and believe me their workload is very light!

Seriously, though, it does seem as though the people who are always helpful and cheerful and try to go the extra mile to assist are the ones who are constantly hounded and beaten up.  "No good deed goes unpunished" is a motto I constantly quote (although I never remember it in time!).  

As Gee says, though, I cannot change my personality.  So, even though I have been put through trial after trial (as recently as last week, in fact) by going that extra step and trying to be helpful and expedite the work as much as possible, I couldn't possibly stop doing it.  It is in my nature to try to accommodate as much as possible and try to ease the load of others.  I realized that a long time ago.  The satisfaction I receive from a job well done more than outweighs the occasional grief.

[mlm668]

I'm not Miss Mary Sunshine nice (see my post about my annual review), but because folks know I will get the job done, I tend to get dumped on.  When I speak up, I'm told I need to be more adaptable, be more willing to help out, etc. while those that can't, won't try, or outright refuse to do something are treated like they invented sliced bread. I'm busting my rear to meet a deadline with bossy nagging to see where I am on a task, and they're down the hall gossipping around the copier.  AAUUGGHH!!!

I have never tolerated anyone being outright abusive towards me though and fortunately haven't had anyone try to push me around in a very long time.

Michelle

[Atlanta Z3]

I've been the too nice too helpful person in another office and yes it got me dumped on.  I started tracking how much of my time was spent for other departments was able to show actual hours spent on project with dates (outlook journal).  It was about 30 percent of my time!  Suffice to say the vp were shocked, and took another look at some of their staff.  In the long run it didn't change anything and I didn't get the percentage of raise that I asked for but did get more than the average.
Now I try to find a happy medium and I can ask the question which project do you want me to put back to work on yours?

[diamondlady]

Ditto with what atlantaz3 said.  I can so relate to your posting.  I try to be as helpful as possible, and it can only burn in the long run cuz they will take advantage of it to some degree.  I was in a similar situation not long ago, and, to date, I try to have as little communication with that department as possible.  I do have to as I do the purchasing and they need copies of some of the stuff I do, and they have a bad tendancy to loose things that I give them and need extra copies of what I KNOW they have already received, and mysteriously disappears.  I waste more of my time on that now than doing their work so they can leave early.  I refuse to do that anymore unless their boss asks me to help in a time crunch, and that is kept to a minimum.  I don't mind HELPING, but DOING is an entirely different thing, and this was on a weekly basis for many years.  It's much better now than it was, but, personalities sure have changed since then too.  And that suits me just fine.  As long as they are the ones doing their own work and not dipping into my time too.

Diamondlady
Peer Moderator

[peaches2160]

My job is to be helpful, customer oriented, resourceful and my bosses right arm.  I have learned over the years how to pace myself and not set myself up to be sucked into stuff.  I do go out of my way, when I can.  I do put the customer first, both internal and external.  However, I do not let people walk over me and have learned how to politely tell them "no" when I know I will be stretched too thin and not meet the expectations of my boss and the objective of my job.  It is a thin line we walk.  It is all in how you tell them no that matters.

[diamondlady]

Something I have a hard time doing is saying NO, and letting people do what they should.  There is an issue out there that I KNOW will be coming up and there is nothing I can do unless I receive that bosses approval to do it.  It's month's late.  And I know, in the end I will be forced to HELP again in a department that I shouldn't be, because I don't work there, but HELP when the need arises, it is a very fine line indeed.

Diamondlady
Peer Moderator

[bristolmary]

oh yes, being too nice in my work place is the wrong attitude. My main problem is the CEO (who I work for) and our deputy CEO are such lovely people it's hard to say no to.

I really do need to learn to put my hand up and say woah too much work on but it's hard. Especially as our CEO is a great person and manager and he helps me out so much .

[peaches2160]

It's all about setting priorities and determining who is priority.  in my case, My boss is #1 tied with the external customer.  The rest just fall in line.