Fitting the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together

[raindance]

I was reading through the previous thread where Country Gal and Bright mentioned their families.  I know how much time it takes to care for a family.  So, ladies (and gentlemen too if there are any about), you have a job, a husband or wife and a home, children, or any combination of these ... how do you fit it together?

[JessW]

  Raindance, that is the simplest question of them all (metaphorically speaking!)!

Use a very large sledgehammer, or a jack hammer if you can get your hands on one!

 

[Chatham Lady]

I'm an octopus in disguise!

[countrigal]

I use a good dayplanner and a huge calendar on my refrigerator.... and my cell phone!  My dayplanner and the calendar at home ensures we know who has what when, and allows my husband and I to divide the duties with the kids based upon the additional duties we each have outside of work and our family.  The cell phone is for those emergencies... like when I can't get off work in time to take the kids to soccer practice, get stuck in traffic, etc... so I have a lifeline to a few other family members or friends who can step in temporarily in a pinch.

But I like the big mallet/sledge hammer thought... most days that's about how I feel with trying to cram it all into 24 hours and still ensuring the growing kidlets get plenty of rest.

[Atlanta Z3]

Isn't being organized our middle name?  

I don't have kids but I do have aging parents and a mother-in-law with very low vision who lives out of state.  We travel to her state quite often which of course throws everything at home out of whack.  I usually spend the night before travel cleaning my house because a: (weird I know) if I die I don't want someone to think I'm a slob and b: I won't have to do anything when I get back but feed us! My parents are local and in their 80's and need a little more help recently.

After 20+ years we have a system worked out: the hubby does the finances and most of the yard work, I do the house work and cooking.  Mr. Military does his own laundry and cleans after I have already cleaned stuff.  Which used to irk me, now I'm all for it!

We both manage to find time to travel and spend time with friends.  Life can't be all about work.

[Brighton Rock]

 

A sledgehammer ... now I wish I had known that 25 years ago when I began compiling my tribe. 

Life became a lot easier as they went away to school (anywhere that looked like Hogwarts was heaven to them) and College. School uniforms are easy, but there are a great many items.  It's really a case of measure the child every which way and order what's needed.

Even so, a large family does require a lot of organising, and my family is a very active one. 

At the beginning of the academic year, I sit down with a year planner, an online route planner for those long drives to and from schools, husband's diary and my own diary.  I put in as much information as I can for school/College term dates and holidays, weekends home, healthcare check ups, hairdresser appointments, sports fixtures, choir practices, family events (as far as we know them), work meetings and major events.  In fact, any sort of date that I can fix is put in The Big Calendar.

I do a lot of grocery shopping online, especially for non-perishables.   We entertain a great deal and go out quite a bit, and we both have sets of olds to keep an eye on.  Over the years, I have built up a splendid repertoire of dishes that don't take more than an hour to prepare and a well-stocked larder and freezer.

I'm organised but I don't run an army camp.  I aim for an atmosphere of cheerful orderliness.  After many years of marriage my OH is still my "date", and the children seem reasonably well-adjusted, so I guess we must we doing something right.

I come to work to recover from all of this.   

[gee4]

I don't have kids but sometimes in work it feels as though I do, so unlike BR above, I come home to recover from the madness.

We all like to do different things, so for me filling my life with activities left, right and centre is not a necessity.  I like to be organised and plan activities and outings.  I guess we make our own choices in life that suit us best.

I always say, there's a time and place for spontaneity!

[raindance]

Bright, I know how hard you work, both at work and home, and with such competence and grace.  I take my hat off to you. Your husband and children are very lucky people. 

It's really good to read these remarks and have a peek through the windows of other people's lives. 

Some companies can be quite family-friendly, others less accommodating of people's needs.  I have introduced, where I work, more flexible working both in terms of hours and home working.  It works very well, particularly being able to make use of all the technology that is available.

[Cozwaz]

I can multitask and organise!!! lol

When I was living with my ex fiance (only lived together for 9 months) - not only did we have his children to consider but also the animals to look after and sort too!  We both worked fulltime - so life was always hectic! 

We had a calendar on the kitchn wall which we couldn't live without, there was a column for each of us so we knew who had to be where when.  My ex did most of the running round taking the children to their various activities.  Whoever got home first cooked supper.  My ex's friends (a couple) who lived in the village used to come round for tea at least once a week, I normally cooked then.  We had a cleaner who came in three hours a week which was a big help.  Washing and ironing we both mucked in.

The animals, luckily we had the land so the dogs got to run free most of the time.  The two driving ponies which to exercise both properly each took about 3 hrs start to finish each day.  They had to be driven separately so during the week after we had had tea most of the rest of the evening was taken up with the ponies. Plus the animals has appointments like dentist, chiropracter and blacksmith.  Weekends the same but then Exs parents used to come and visit one day each weekend as his mother used to carriage drive too and her driving pony stayed with us.  Sometimes the rest of the Exs famly sister, brother in law and their two children also used to come down on the same day too - we used to have rolls for lunch and I always made homemade soup and cakes for us all too.

We were also lucky that Ex's friends would help us out with the animals when required and also the children.

So only one day at the weekend was left for us to do family things really, whether going off for the day together or just doing shopping etc.

I enjoyed the hectic life but there were lots of downsides.  Now its just me and my dog with a puppy to follow in October - then its back to fitting all the dog training in of various types  along with my music stuff - all good fun and I can't wait.