Friends with the boss?

[susans]

Can you be "friends" with the boss?  If so, have you ever been friends with your boss?

[jennika]

I think for the most part you can't be friends with the boss, but there are exceptions.   I have never been friends with any of my bosses.  I like them and we get along, but not friends.   I do have a friend that has worked with her boss for over 10 years and has developed a friendship out of the office as well as in.  It works for them, but as I said.  For the most part I don't think you can be friends with the boss.

[gee4]

No, not unless you work for a small company and run personal errands for him as well as doing your daily job.

I would never want to be friends with any of the bosses I have had.  I see them as my boss, not a friend, the person who hired me - that is quite a different relationship from friendship.

[queenbean]

I disagree that it isn't possible to be friends with the boss.  I work for the boss of a 200-strong company.  We've developed an extremely strong relationship over the years, and while I don't consider him to be a friend that I see every other day, we do socialise from time to time, I know his family and friends well, and it certainly could be described as a friendship.  This doesn't impact negatively on our work relationship, and has never caused any conflict of interest.  

And no, I don't run personal errands for him - just as I wouldn't run errands for any other friends!

QB

[laurafmcdermott]

I've never been interested in being friends with any boss.  Speaking for myself, I would not be able to have a professional relationship as well as a personal one--it would need to be one or the other.  However, I also have this rule for co-workers--I'm not interested in a personal relationship with anyone I work with professionally.

However, I'm sure there are cases where it could work, depending on type of business and the reporting structure.

[Cathy S]

I would say of all the people I have worked with there has only been one I would have considered a friend.

I do think though that many bosses try to be their assistant's friend - for example my current boss seems to think that if he thanks me for every tiny little action I will feel more valued - in fact it negates the thank yous that should really matter because I have made extra effort or gone beyond the call of duty.  The other way this shows is that often I go into his office to ask a work related question and have to stand there whilst he regales me with some family saga and, nice as his family are, I really don't want to know all their ins and outs.

Any one else come across this?

Cathy

[geminigirl]

I've never been "friends" with any of my bosses.  However, that's not to say I haven't been on very friendly terms with some of them.

I got on extremely well with one boss that I worked with for over 10 years.  I considered him a friend, to the extent that I knew all about his marital problems, the affair that he'd started with a co-worker, his hopes & thoughts about work etc.  As I said, I considered him a friend.  Until, that is, office banter went - in his opinion - a bit too far and I said something jokey / flippant (not derogatory in any way) to him in front of a couple of other staff members.  To this day I cannot recall what it was.  BUT he pulled me up on it a little later and from that day I was very very careful what I said about him / to him with others around.

Yes, I was in the wrong and I hold my hand up and say yes, I probably said something I shouldn't have and I got burned and I learned from it.  So friendly, yes.  Friends, no.

[Atlanta Z3]

I was friends with one of my bosses at the last company I worked for.  We just clicked.  Our sense of humor was the same and we could dish and take equally.  I in some form became second wife and nagged on occasion.  I also knew and liked his wife and would sometimes chat with her on the phone for 1/2 an hour or so.  I miss the boss but not the company.  He recently called me because he had an administrative opening, but the commute was too long for me and I really like my current job. (And I believe you can never go home!)
My current management is not the make friends kind of bosses, it's business and I'm not in their social realm.  Which is fine with me, I like keeping work and personal separate - I'm not the type to pop in the pub for happy hour with coworkers.
But to answer the question, yes I think you can be friends with the boss, but you have to be able to keep it professional and not take advantage of the friendship.

[peaches2160]

I agree.  My boss and I have developed a good working relationship.  However, it is a working relationship and that is it.  I am friends with a couple of female bosses I have had in the past, we keep in touch.  However, working for my current boss is different.  I have gained a different type of respect for him and treat him as such.  

[msmarieh]

Although I have had friendly relationships with just about all of my bosses, I can't say that I consider them "friends". Nor, to be honest, do I think I should. They have a job to do and if they have to discipline me for some reason (not that it happens much naturally, LOL), they would have a very tough time doing that to a "friend". In addition, it can lead to the appearance of favoritism even where none exists. I have seen it in my husband's office with a problem co-worker that is too friendly with the boss. The other co-workers think the boss is "protecting" his "friend".

Marie