Update -

In the past few weeks I have worked to change a few things.  First, I am slowly but surely making everything in my cube pink.  No comments yet from anyone, but I figure it can't hurt.

Second, I am accepting the idea that I have to work within the perception of other people.  I don't have to agree with their perception, but I have to work with them.  As a part of that, however, I have adopted the "never make assumptions about anyone or anything" philosophy.  I ask a lot more questions than I ever used to, and I ask them of anyone and everyone.  Sometimes I feel like it makes me look like I am not capable of making decisions, but if I get a reply that is even remotely condescending I follow it up with a "Thank you, that is what I thought, but it is never a good idea to make assumptions."  It seems to be working.

And third, I am not venting or even making anything that could be construed as a negative comment to anyone in the builiding.  It wasn't like I was always complaining before - I am not one to be in the gossip circles or whine about every little thing.  But now I  make sure every day a good day and there isn't anything to be negative about.

The other principle I am trying very hard to put into practice is to not take anything personnally.  For someone who puts their heart and soul into their job, this is difficult!  But I have to remove the emotions from the feedback.  I have to learn to accept feedback for what it is - it is just an opinion.  And if it is valid, then I know where I can improve.  And if it is not, then I know it's not and life goes on.  

It has been much more peaceful in my little corner of the office.  Nothing negative from my boss in several weeks.  I have a meeting with him this next week and will request feedback as part of the meeting.  

Thanks to everyone who took the time to write in on this.  It has been a great learning experience.  I am much happier because of the things I have learned.  

LL

Sometimes it is just nice to know you are not the only person with the issue.  

"Taking on too much authority" is definately an issue in my office.  Anything I send out from the boss has to be prefaced with, "I was asked me to send this out..." or else people will think I am taking it on myself to send information out without checking with anyone first.  Good grief.  You would think they would have enough to do without worrying about whether or not I am trying to take over the company.

I have started rewarding people for getting reports in on time, or being the first manager in with their information.  People are incredibly competitive.  If they know that there is a prize for doing something they have to do anyway, it just makes it a little bit more fun.  Most of the time the "reward" is a gold star sent via e-mail - but it is just enough recognition that 1) others feel a sense of guilt for not getting their stuff in on time, and 2) managers HATE the idea of another manager beating them to the punch.  

I also started giving them an "absolute drop-dead" deadline that is at least 2 days before my real deadline.  They always push it, but it eliviates a ton of stress on my part.  When they call and say, "I need an extra day!" I am free to answer, in my most pleasant, helpful voice, "Of course!  Not a problem this month.  Can you have it to me by end of business tomorrow?"  They think I am doing them a big favor and I still meet my deadline.

LL

One of my responsibilities is to review incoming resumes for our open Admin positions.  I would also be happy to look at yours if you need another set of eyes, or if you would like a list of the stuff we are looking for when we look at a resume, let me know.  I am happy to share.

NPS

These are all great ideas and I know I will use them.

We are doing a gift certificate to Amazon.com for our boss - everyone is contributing a min. of $5, and since I have a fairly large team, the certificate will end up being about $100.  Amazon is great because you can get just about anything through them.  No wrapping, no shopping, no trying to second guess what he would want.  

LL

What a great idea!!!  

I did a very brief survey with my family after reading your post - they volunteered Pink as being the most approachable color.   I am shopping this weekend for all things pink!!!  It makes sense, but I wouldn't have thought of it.  

THANK YOU!!!

LL

Thanks for all the replies.

To answer the obvious questions:  I love my job.  I love the company I work for.  I have been here just over 2 years and was recently promoted to a higher level - same job, more money.  Benefits are second to none.  And for the most part, I have a really good boss.  There are several occassions in my present position and in past positions that I could have changed jobs and I did a lot of soul searching to make sure this is where I wanted to be and what I wanted to be doing.  Job satisfaction is not the issue.

My frustration is in the fact that: 1) He couldn't give me anything concrete to go on, nor did he have any suggestions for changes that should be made; and 2) Why am I responsible for changing my behavior to meet other's perceptions when their perception is just plain wrong?  Why can't I tell someone it really isn't raining outside when they insist that it is?

It is one thing to present issues and let people know about problems.  It is quite another thing to humor other employee's grumblings and complaints by passing them along instead of setting the record straight then and there.  He did not suggest to the complainers that they needed to come to me if they had a problem with me or my work, nor did he stick up for me and my work, which is consistently above reproach.

I am all for solving problems and moving forward, and I am happy to take responsibility for my mistakes, and do on a daily basis. I have been an Admin for a long time.  I know I have to adjust my work style to fit those that I support.  But this issue seems to go beyond that.  

Lessons Learned:  I cannot "vent" to anyone within the company.  Everything goes back to my boss and the other Admin in our dept., who promptly whines and complains to everyone else in the dept.

I like the idea of documenting everything.  That, along with not talking to anyone in the department about anything other than business, and even then keeping it incredibly professional, will be two new practices.  

Any other thoughts on dealing with perceptions vs. reality are welcome.  It is always good to get input from those who have "been there and done that."

LL

I attended the Administrative Professionals Conference (APC) a few weeks ago for the first time.  It is a 4-day event for Admins.  WOW!  It was some of the best training I have ever received, and I came back to work revitalized and full of new knowledge and ideas to be a better Admin, and a better person.  

It is expensive, but worth every penny, and, maybe more importantly, worth the time to go.  The website for the conference is www.apcevent.com.  The info isn't up yet for next year, but you can get an idea of the classes that were offered this year.  AMA is the sponsor, so there is probably info on their site also.

LL

I was recently pulled into my bosses office for a discussion on the perception others in the office have of me, my work, and my relationship with other admins in the company.  He went into this "discussion" knowing most of the things he was sharing were not even close to the truth, but he is insisting we have to work with the perception, since "perception IS reality."  (No telling anyone to get a reality check!)  There are a few things I can change, and don't mind doing so,  but overall I am just really frustrated.  

Has anyone else had to deal with this issue?  What did you do?  Any good resources on the topic?

Thanks for your input!

LL