This was great--those of us in Las Vegas can certainly relate!

CLARIFICATION OF THE "CORPORATE STRUCTURE"



CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound

ls more powerful than a locomotive

Is faster than a speeding bullet

Walks on water

Talks with God



PRESIDENT

Leaps short buildings in a single bound

Is more powerful than a switch engine

Is faster than a speeding BB

Walks on water if the sea is calm

Talks with God if special request is approved



EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT

Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds

Is almost as powerful as a switch engine

Can fire a speeding bullet

Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool

Is occasionally addressed by God



VICE PRESIDENT

Barely clears a Quonset hut

Loses tug-of-war with a locomotive

Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury

Swims well

Talks to animals



MANAGER

Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings

Is run over by a locomotive

Is not issued ammunition

Dog paddles

Talks to walls



SUPERVISOR

Runs into buildings

Recognizes a locomotive two out of three times

Wets himself with a water pistol

Can't stay afloat without a life preserver

Mumbles to himself







SECRETARY

Lifts buildings and walks under them

Kicks locomotives off the tracks

Catches speeding bullets in her teeth and eats them

Freezes water with a single glance

She is God

 

Actually, Ms. Robbie, I'm having a great day--thanks for the concern, though.  



I got this through an email and I actually found it funny in a facetious sorta way.  That's why I posted it in the Humor Zone.  Just my strange sense of "bureaucratic" humor.  This kinda joke falls along the same lines as the definition of an Inspector General (IG) inspection which states "...that you must stop what you are doing in order to simulate what you were doing, in order to prove that you could do what you were doing, as well as you were doing it before you were interupted."  



Almost time to go home...and tomorrow is a Friday (but since it is a non-flying day, I'll have to put up with a bunch of crabby boys...  )

QQ

to reflect sadly that one could have done it right in twenty minutes, and as things turned out, one has had to spend two days to find out why it has taken three weeks for someone else to do it wrong.

Sorry, Bethalize, but I agree with Ksmile and NorthCarolina.  Cereal is great and thats what I have whenever my husband is on the late shift!  What's even better is that you can even incorporate that once-a-month chocolate craving by having...tada!!! Coco Krispies or Coco Puffs!  

Welcome Mozartsop...thanks for posting.  I really like the Humor Zone--it always brings a smile to my day.  So...



...stop lurking and start posting.  Jump on in...the water's fine!



QQ

 

I'm gonna do it....just as soon as I win Megabucks  

Anyone want to go with me?



QQ

Go to this site and "click" on the Santa Tracker.





http://liftoff.msfc.nasa.gov/home/seasonal/SantaTrackHome.html



Geez, I hope I did that right.



 

s left of the house. No more shoveling!



January 8: I feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?





Glad to be living in Las Vegas...

QueeperQueen

 

Since I work for the military, I have always worked in "controlled" areas inaccessable to the general public and although that doesn't protect a person from disgruntled employees, I really don't feel unsafe.  



Some of the places I've worked were extremely secure with entry guards and combo locks (like working in a vault).  Since I was overseas during the Gulf War and as you can imagine security measures were very high during that time.  We all went through anti-terrorist/self-protection training with such helpful hints as "don't take the same route to work over and over"--in other words don't become predictable...old habits are hard to break and I still follow this one.  We were also taught to search our cars for possible bombs.  When I finally arrived at work, I had to show three pieces of identification (even though the guards knew me personally) and my entire car was searched before I was allowed inside the parking lot near our building...and this was after clearing the security measures to enter the air base!  



So did I feel safe?  Pretty much, yes, from terrorist activity...but, would it help against disgruntled employees?  No way!!  Even though everyone I work with has a security clearance and we have all gone through a mental health evaluation, there is always the possibility.  



This is a good topic, Andrea, and we should all look at the security measures in place at our workplaces and point out any potential problems.



QQ (not as complacent as I was 5 minutes ago)

 

I work for the Federal government and there are several formal recognition programs that apply to all employees, not just to clerical/administrative such as the quarterly/annual recognition program, kinda like an "employee" of the quarter/year.  There are also awards that are specific to career fields such as the Information Manager of the Year awards (IMs are admin folks).  Letters of commendation and appreciation are also included in the recognition program.  Unfortunately, we don't "win" anything with these awards other than the recognition itself--which is sometimes all the reward we need.



Performance awards that are tied to the annual appraisal ratings are given as a percentage of the annual salary (usually anywhere from 1 percent to 5 percent).  A Time-Off Award is given as an extra day off for almost any reason; but only second-level supervisors above a certain level can approve this and the reason must be documented (like all awards).



Although this may not apply to the civilian sector, I hope this helps a little...or at least triggers some ideas.



QQ   (awfully quiet around here today...)

Congratulations Sue!  What an accomplishment...and doesn't it just feel great.



I sat for the exam in 1996 and passed all three parts, too.  I only studied for two of the parts and just figured I'd take the third test "as practice" but passed it (like you, the score wasn't that high on that one test, but hey, passing is passing...and no one has ever asked for my scores   )



JusPeachy, to answer your question.  I work for the Air Force and have my CPS.  The colonel I worked for at the time knew I was studying for it and was almost as excited as I was when I passed.  Civilian Personnel did eventually get the certification in my records (its there, they just had to dig for the proper code).  It doesn't give me any extra points since its not a requirement for the job.  But I really believe it helps when getting promoted--I've always been able to bring up the fact that I hold a CPS rating during an interview and then go on to explain exactly what that means and what the test involves.  



But the real satisfaction I got was that I set this goal for myself and I succeeded.  I wish that the college here would accept it, but unfortunately they don't.  I do have friend who sat for the exam at the same time I did, and she got her degree shortly after that from the University of Maryland--they gave her 31 credit hours for passing the CPS exam!!  Check with different colleges...they don't all offer the same amount of credits.  And don't depend completely on the brochure IAAP puts out listing the colleges that accept the CPS--it hasn't been updated in years and the college I'm attending is listed as accepting the CPS when they haven't done so for several years.



Congratulations to all the others who passed.  Thumbs up to you all!!!



QueeperQueen

 

When I travel, I always stay at hotels using the government/military rate.  Not once in over 20 years has any of the hotels (either in the US or overseas) ever asked me for my ID Card (although I always have it with me).  When I make the reservations, I'm always told that I must show my ID, but so far, I just check in, and check out, no problem.  It does surprise me that no one checks though.  



QQ

OK, somebody please answer this ad, go on the interview and let us all know...what kind of job is it???  I'm just dying of curiosity.  (I know that some of us wish we could carry a gun, but I'm sure out bosses wouldn't want us to.)



QQ

One of the best books I've read is John R. Binkerhoff's 101 Commonsense Rules for the Office.  I've recommended this book to all my bosses and some have even ordered it and given it to their subordinates to read!



Another good book is Robert Rosen's Leading People  



Business Intelligence is also good, but I can't remember who wrote it.



If Robbie would actually read The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, she'd find out that it too is a great book.  (Truthfully, I haven't actually "read" it either  , but I did go through the week-long course and I'm assuming that the book follows the course materials--I'd recommend any of Covey's books.



There's also Leadership Secrets of Attila the Hun, but not sure you'd be interested in that one.



Anyway, Sungoddess, I have these books and you are welcome to borrow them at any time.  



QueeperQueen (enjoying that wet stuff that is coming from the sky in Las Vegas...)