"Christmas cracker" jokes

[ecogirl]

How do you make a bear cross?

Just nail two bears together.

caroleanne

[radaro]

How do you make a hippopotamus float?

You need two scoops of ice cream, some root beer and a hippopotamus.

[JessW]

OK, if they are going to get that bad I will have to say...

How do you make a fish stick?

Use plenty of glue!

Jess

[ecogirl]

What happens if you drop a snowball into a glass of water?

It gets wet!

caroleanne

[ecogirl]

Q. Why was the broom late for work.

A. He overswept!

caroleanne

[chris68]

OK a little late here but these I could not resist sharing in the days after Christmas.   Enjoy!

What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Snowflakes!

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle.

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gambel?
Its true.... Comet cleans sinks!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa?
Claustrophobic!

What is special about the Christmas alphabet?
It has NO EL.

What do elves learn in school?
The Elf-abet!

If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missile-toe!

Why are Christmas trees like people who can't knit?
They both drop their needles!

What do you call a reindeer wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can't hear you!

[Jackie G]

Oh these are great.  I used quite a lot of these on my Christmas morning radio show, so thanks to those of you whose jokes I used, and for posting them so early which gave me the idea.  The ones I got at parties in December were rubbish!

Jackie, Peer Moderator
www.iqps.org