Do you have trouble saying no in the workplace?

[susans]

On the US homepage I put a poll asking you, "Do you have trouble saying no?"  I would like to take the sound off and expand that topic.  Do you have trouble saying no to extra project, to co-workers asking for help, for the boss that just asked for something out of the normal realm of  your job?  If you do have trouble, share your frustrations and stories, if you are able to say yes comfortably, offer your suggestions to help empower your peers.  Do you have a good story on saying no, or not saying no that will just make others laugh?  Sound off on saying no! Let us know!

[kellinm]

YES!  I just read something over the weekend about how to accept help when it is offered.  Last week I was carrying 3 large binders down a long hallway while wearing a dress & heels.  A man that I work with walked up to grab them from me while asking to help, I laughed and told him "I've got it, thank you".  He probably walked away feeling bad (not to mention a bit less manly) for not being able to help.  People feel good when they can help others.  So, why are we taking things on and trying to do it all ourselves?  For myself, I have a difficult time saying no because I think I should be able to do everything that is asked of me.  If I cannot, that means I'm unorganized or not managing my time well enough.  Is that true?  Probably not but my insecurities tell me it is.

Recently someone I work with who I consider to be an excellent manager, has been pushing me to 'push back' even on things he gives me.  It will take some self-awareness but it is a good, bad habit to break.

[jennika]

It isn't that I can't say no.  I can.  I just don't say no.  I take on any project that is given to me.  I think I am the best of what I do, so sure give it to me!   In the end this can mean I take on to many projects.  So, yes I have trouble saying no, but it is self imposed.    As for that rare occasion I do say no, it is not from my superiors.  My favorite "no" method is to explain I would love to help, but my schedule is quite full and I do try to offer them an alternative.  I  never say a flat out, sorry I can't help.  The alternative really depends on the project.  Maybe it is asking someone else, delaying the project for another day or even suggesting an alternative.  

[Cathy S]

Obviously I don't because in my last job I was being paid to do just that!

The role had two aspects - assigning junior auditors to clients' audits and recording the client fees.  It involved a great deal of saying no to managers who preferred one junior to another, saying no to clients (without actually using the word) because we didn't have resource on the week they wanted to rearrange their audit to and saying no to the juniors if they didn't like an assignment - but of course everybody had to feel like I had said "yes of course you can have/do whatever you want".

Perhaps the secret is practising when something really matters to us personally - as in "no I will not call your head office, it is your job to liaise within your company and call me back with the answer" when the company supplying my kitchen let me down and tried to pass the buck - half an hour of saying no politely resulted in a compensation cheque for about 8% of the order value.

So homework for this weekend anyone?

Cathy

[movinonup]

Yes, I have a problem saying no.  So far, this hasn't gotten me in over my head.

I take on all projects that my manager asks me to work on.  Most recently he asked me to write up some orders.  This is usually the engineer's job, but we are short-handed lately, so he asked me to step in.  I actually was glad to do this, and think I would make an excellent account administrator.  I'm hoping he sees the value of my detail-oriented mind in preparing these orders, and notices the customer support experience I bring to the table.  This may help  me to move up in my department.  But even if he doesn't create a new spot for me, he's got to recognize the "value added" he gets from this sales coordinator.  (I'll be sure to add this to my annual review summary page.)

Movinonup

[itsme_calista]

I find this difficult to answer!  I can't specifically remember an instance where I've been asked to do something where I "should" say no, but say yes, but I am a bit of an "okay then" kind of person.  

I'm not generally overworked (although I am busy) and I can always find time to slot something else in without reworking my schedule or deadlines. I'm rarely asked though, the nature of our business doesn't call for me to take on other things.

Callie