Everyone likes to feel appreciated and Christmas is a time when most PAs might hope for a small, carefully-planned "thank you" gift from the boss. An attractive piece of jewellery, perhaps, or pampering vouchers. Maybe some lush choccies, or a book you'll enjoy curling up with over Christmas. There's so much choice these days, that finding an appropriate token isn't too tricky.

So why is it that some PAs have suffered deep public humiliation at the hands of their bosses, and now fear to open shiny, be-ribbonned parcels in front of others? Why is it that some secretaries have been forced to re-evaluate their relationships with their managers, since receiving ghastly gifts that can only have been recycled cast-offs? Because their bosses have so blatantly got it wrong!

Fortunately, some support professionals fare well during the festive season, and are delighted with their managers' well-chosen tokens. But if you find yourself in the other camp, might we suggest printing out this article and leaving it visible in these weeks before Christmas. It may save you the trauma of feigning excitement over yet another gruesome gift!

Of course, there are some things a boss really can't give his PA for Christmas (stop laughing at the back there), but the personal doesn't always have to be avoided. One PA recalls reading the gift tag on her boss's present and being covered in confusion at its very intimate message. "I blushed profusely and shoved the gift under my desk so that no-one else could see it," she said. "We'd been seeing each other since the department's Christmas party - nothing dodgy about it, we're both single - but at the time no-one knew. Now our relationship is common knowledge in the firm, but I've still kept that gift tag!"

The good...

Some PAs are very lucky and work for people who not only appreciate the work they do, but also the things they like. "My boss always buys me a present at Christmas, usually rather expensive aromatherapy-type gifts - something to help me de-stress and relax. At least he appreciates that I might need something like that!" remarks one.

Quite a number of PAs receive perfume, flowers, chocolates, etc, although some bosses obviously have more imagination, witnessed by the following lucky recipients: "a large Dartington crystal bowl", "a bathmat (well it was what I wanted!)", "an iPod which he'd brought back from the US", "a torch - at the time I was totally baffled but I have to say that it has subsequently proved extremely useful", "a selection of Clarins sun care because I went to Barbados for the New Year", "a brooch which he'd remembered I'd liked from six months earlier."

Many PAs crave vouchers for beauty treatments or theatre tickets (bosses take note!) but everyone agrees that it's nice to be remembered: "I don't care what the gift is as long as they buy me something to show their appreciation," commented another.

...the bad...

Disappointingly, many secretaries receive no mark of recognition at Christmas: "I've never had a Christmas gift from a boss since I've worked here. In fact my male boss doesn't even send me a card but just signs the general department card." Scrooge seems to be alive and well in some businesses, but a few secretaries might even prefer neglect to the offerings received by these PAs:

• "One boss gave me a wooden box with a rabbit on the top filled with chocolate eggs, which I think was a recycled Easter present."



• "I don't have pierced ears and don't like earrings, but my boss gave me some very large dangly costume jewellery earrings for pierced ears - and now asks why I never wear them."



• "Storage boxes with pictures of cows on them."



• "My boss gave me a book last Christmas because "he knew I was doing evening classes". The classes were practical ones in pottery - we ended up with a range of items we'd made ourselves. The book was called 'The embalming of Lenin'."



• "A fluffy pencil case."



• "A notebook from handmade paper made out of recycled elephant dung."



• "A wooden sailor (extremely ugly) painted in garish colours which he apparently chose for me while on holiday in Portugal."



• "On my boss's return to the office after Christmas he brought in a bag of salty liquorice which he had left at home. He emphasised that I was not to eat it all myself but to share with the rest of the office."

There are some unwritten rules for giving. In small businesses the boss is expected to present at least a token Christmas gift to his/her secretary. Large companies often have a gift policy, usually invoked for gifts received from customers or clients but sometimes applied internally as well. In these cases gifts to secretaries might have to adhere to company policy.

Fairly impersonal gifts of nominal value are safest, eg, a picture frame, magazine subscription, gift vouchers, charitable donation or edible treats such as small hampers, chocolates and wine. Expensive gifts are often taxable, which takes the edge off them, while anything too personal could be misinterpreted, if not by the principals, by other colleagues!

...and the ugly

And the worst Christmas gift we came across...? Let the poor girl explain in her own words: "I made the mistake of opening it in front of my boss. It was a teddy-bear - one of those you can record messages in. When I switched it on the bear jived to a recording of my boss carolling 'I wish you a Merry Christmas.' He stood there grinning and bopping like the bear. I work in an open-plan area and everyone was so embarrassed - it was like something out of 'The Office'. To make matters worse I had to struggle home on the tube with this thing and it kept going off. Eventually I gave it to my brother's daughter, who really liked it - she's two."