PA and Secretary Community - Deskdemon.com

1) I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s***.
2) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3) How about never? Is never good for you?
4) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9) It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10) Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
11) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13) I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a damn.
14) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23) And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
24) Do I look like a people person?
25) This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26) I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
27) Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28) If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29) Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30) Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed it.
31) I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
32) A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
33) Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?
34) Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.
35) How do I set a laser printer to stun?
36) I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
37) File that under "Never".

Perfect ending to a 4 day week that felt like a 14 day week!!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Marie

Love it.  

Another one to add to the list - which a member of my team did suddenly announce yesterday - "How embarrassing, I've just realised I forgot to put a bra on this morning"!!

#32 reminded me of something I noticed the other day. I was walking through the mall and went into the pet store. The puppy pens look remarkably like my cubicle. Except that they get doors and I don't!

Ok, maybe I'm slow, but how would one FORGET to put a bra on???  And make it out the door???  I've forgotten my purse, my breakfast, my makeup even, but never forgot my bra -- kind of like my shoes, very obvious that I'm missing something.  How do you put a shirt on and not notice that an important part of the dressing process was missed?  Even with 2 little kids hounding me in the morning and the ensuing rush to get everyone dressed, everything gathered up and out the door, I've never had this problem and just can't imagine it.  And to announce this in front of everyone????  OMG!  I can only imagine what everyone's reaction was to this announcement.  How funny!

CountriGal
Peer Moderator

I worked for a forensic engineering firm which did accident investigations, among other things and they were a firearms testing center. Some of the announcements over their speaker system were hilarious. I called my husband one day shortly after starting and said, you know... There's not many places where they announce "we're going to be shooting guns shortly, just ignore the noise"... or "we're going to be dropping a bus from a crane if anyone would like to watch".

LOL

Marie

Oh, Marie! That sounds like a fun place to work!
Tif