COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
FLEXIBLE HOURS: Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD: You complain, you're fired.
CAREER-MINDED: We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.
SELF-MOTIVATED: Management won't answer questions
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend
DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT: We have a a huge staff turnover.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER: We're not going to supply you with leads; there's no base salary; you'll wait 30 days for your first commission payment.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED: If we're in trouble, you'll go on TV and get us out of it.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left and there are no handover notes.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
Some Friday fun